It seems limerence and other addictions stems from early life attachment wounds.
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There is a guy that I've liked at my church for around 5 in a half years now, and recently realized after doing some research that I am dealing with a major case of limerence. I sent his family gifts and such a couple years ago, but recently realized that that wasn't such a good idea. I can go a year without seeing him (I only see him 1 -2 times year), but when I am around him everything comes back and I'm re 'energized' so to say for a long time afterwards. I do have small other crushes in-between, but when he comes back around all those go away and he is the only one I have eyes for. The problem is we have never spoken, and he smokes which I can't stand (I do like the smell though) and there is a possibility that he doesn't like me. He is 19 I am 15, so there is a bit of a age difference gap. I know that its not rational to like him since I don't know much about him, so I'm trying to let go but its really hard.
Does anyone have any tips? Anything would be appreciated. Thank you!
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Sorry you're in this situation, I can definitely relate. My limerence for my former high school LO reactivated after almost ten years of not seeing him when we were friends on Facebook. Some people may just always have that effect on us, but going inside oneself and figuring out how one comes to be attached to someone like that, can help curtail it in the future.
The irony that is the disordered dictating order.
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So many factors and different things. One would be why him. Because of lack of contact, perhaps he seems safe to like. I like to like and be liked, but don't get too close. Maybe LO's feel just out of reach so we don't have to face some things. Maybe that yucky thing they do helps us keep some distance, and yet attract. Think hard why you need this person as it's alsoan escape from poor self image perhaps. Hang in there.
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