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What Are Your FLEAS?

Discuss your experiences about narcissism and relationships with narcissists here.
MrSpock
Posts: 330
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Gender:
Argentina

Re: What Are Your FLEAS?

Post by MrSpock » Tue May 15, 2018 5:09 pm

On the one hand, a virtue I have is that I can forgive absolutely everything that is not a very direct aggression. Like, you can smash my car, or leave my cellphone on a bar and walk away, and I'll be absolutely OK. But, it comes with a very high price: I get seriously annoyed if I do something like that and you get upset. Like if I smash your car, and you get upset, you're in for a fight. Only lately I'm learning that people do get mad whether you screw on purpose or not, and try to be understanding.

And if you get mad at me for something I didn't do, or did with a justification, is WAR.

With my kids I snap if they disobey. I'm much, much better now, but when they were small (say 5 or 6), I used to go as far as pulling their hair if they got in a tantrum for resisting to do as I told. It doesn't help that they totally ignore my wife and each time she needs them to do something, she sends them to me. She has zero authority and I need to fight down the Sargent within me (which is a direct reflection of my sort-of father)

Something that got me into almost every fight with my wife, is that if you get into an argument with me, there are only two possible outcomes: either I win, or you loose :)
It took me many years of work to learn that is better to be right than happy... wait! I said that backwards! OK, "better to be happy than right" :)

I'm quite awkwardly social: I love being with people... for a while. I'm mostly alone (in fact I work home alone), and as far as I'm alone most of the day, I can and really do enjoy being with other people, but only if it is not for too long. For instance, every Friday night I go play volleyball and it is the interaction with the others I love the most, in fact the very reason for doing it... but, when the class is over, I got and have dinner on my own on a restaurant nearby, and I would totally hate if any of them would want to join me. In fact if anyone would ask me I would say no and go eat at home.

JupiterTaco
Posts: 2820
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: What Are Your FLEAS?

Post by JupiterTaco » Tue May 15, 2018 5:19 pm

Thanks for sharing, MrSpock!
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, yeah,"-Madonna, 4 Minutes

Oh and...it's also a proverb... :-\

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