How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Discuss your experiences about narcissism and relationships with narcissists here.
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JupiterTaco
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How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri May 12, 2017 11:40 am

Just curious how many on here would describe their immediate supervisors or CEOs, etc. or both, as narcissistic? I've had many who fall under this description, does everybody else? Why does it seem narcissistic people are drawn to power and stay there?
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri May 12, 2017 11:41 am

Is society so bent on hiding from themselves that they desperately hide behind a narcissists's fragile façade for some personal reason? Or is it simply that more people are charmed and enchanted by said people?
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Sat May 13, 2017 12:01 am

Feel free to share your narcissistic boss stories. I'll go ahead and give examples of mine. I'm not sure that they actually are narcissists, but I recognize some of the traits some former bosses have had which relate not only to narcissism but our other struggles that relate to limerence.

Present job-Main manager-very tit-for-tat-will basically not do something for you unless you do something for her. I can understand in a business sense being that way to an extent but she's excessive. Tells me I'm her favorite driver, but at least she doesn't do it in front of everybody else like owner of previous employer.

Former bullying manager-wrapped up in herself, obsessed with two different guys who slept with her (one of whom she cheated on, kind of like what my own mother did) and got mad when one dude started seeing another girl at our work. Months later, still tries to spite both of them. Spreads the negative energy around, projecting and blaming. Calling other people stupid for mistakes they make. Told me a customer had referred to me as "that old lady". Methinks she wanted to say that herself. :roll: Could go on and on about this trainwreck but won't.

3rd last job-Owner told me over and over I was his favorite-in front of other employees, managers, his girlfriend even. Gave me my own parking space I suppose as manipulation to get me to stay after having to change shifts to get away from bullying manager. Instead of dealing with bullying manager.

Bullying night manager-very explosive and misogynistic. Demanded complete obedience even when things he did made no sense. For example the incident leading up to me changing shifts, we had an eighty-dollar cash order (store wasn't supposed to do more than thirty in cash for first-time customers). He got on me in the past for doing higher cash orders and then he accepts this one. Had attempted to deliver order, calling as well as ringing room and bringing it back. He told me they had called and I had to bring it back even though we were an hour behind already. I attempted to call the customer from the store again to prove my point and they did not answer. I left to take other orders. When I got back, he told me that another driver had taken it and I missed out on a fifteen-dollar tip. I told him that's great but I really don't want to hear about it anymore. To which he proceeded to start yelling at me that "this is what happens when you disobey me!" and kept on me until I was in tears while everyone else pretended not to notice. Asked repeatedly for owner's phone number to no avail. Was going to quit that night over email, and owner talked me out of it, offered to move me to another shift, told me I was his favorite. Night manager idolized cute but vacant young women and ran the place like a cult by the time I left. Again, could go on and on, but won't.

4th former job-a retail manager, the ZMS in shoes where I worked, reminded me a lot of my mother. Talked to and looked at people with an air of superiority. Extremely condescending.

5th former job-an employee a few years older than me who worked there was extremely attention-seeking and competitive. For example, they'd started having a yearly walking competition, to which whatever team won, won a prize. My team won the first year and the next year she became determined to beat me, walking constantly and even skipping her lunch. My team put more pressure on me to walk more even though I was the one who walked the most and this girl just became insanely competitive about it and rubbed it in my face whenever she could. It turned me off so much that I ended up dropping off the competition. She would flirt with older men at work whom we all knew she had no interest in, but she had to be the one on top in every single situation. :roll:
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu May 18, 2017 8:33 pm

I remembered two more; the miserable old queen who fired me from Walmart. He also had an air of superiority about him and often talked down to people. And I heard he treated other people much worse than he treated me.

And I hate to mention it, but I'm going to mention this due to this being the reason past limerence episodes have started for me. My favorite manager now is in a relationship, he talks all about it and how unhappy he is, flirts with me knowing that I know that he's in a relationship and has a baby on the way. I'm trying not to encourage it but it gets awkward at times. I really like working with him over others which I've talked about on other threads, so I don't want to raise a stink about it but I'm really treading water and hoping the process doesn't repeat itself especially since my life is not going terribly well.
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu May 18, 2017 9:26 pm

This manager does also act a bit put-off when I talk to other guys at work (which is part of my job) and at one point joked when I was on my break "who's calling you? I'm going to say, she's busy!" and laughed. He touches me quite a bit. He's not sleazy about it or anything. It's just very awkward. And the way people talk in that place...and they all know he's in a relationship too... [-X
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu May 18, 2017 9:56 pm

I know I have a narcissistic side also. It's like I can't stop focusing on my own issues! :(
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

Spinnaker
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by Spinnaker » Thu May 18, 2017 9:59 pm

You've got the stories JT!

At least you know how to quit a job! I was such a wuss that I put up with horrible bosses until I got a great internship, my degree or had a baby!

I didn't even quit a job in college which I bought a non-refundable ticket to go to Florida for Spring Break with my minimum wage job at Tuckerman Optical (I refer to it today as "Fuckerman Optical")....My boss said she would would not give me the week off for Spring Break and that she would fire me (after having been there and never calling in sick for over 3 years) if I went to Florida because we had inventory the week of Spring Break. I was so mad at myself for not getting on that plane!! :twisted:
Needless to say... when the time comes I will certainly teach my kids that there are times in life when it's okay to quit!
Re-examine all that you have been told...
dismiss that which insults your soul.
Walt Whitman

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu May 18, 2017 10:40 pm

Spinnaker wrote:
Thu May 18, 2017 9:59 pm
You've got the stories JT!

At least you know how to quit a job! I was such a wuss that I put up with horrible bosses until I got a great internship, my degree or had a baby!

I didn't even quit a job in college which I bought a non-refundable ticket to go to Florida for Spring Break with my minimum wage job at Tuckerman Optical (I refer to it today as "Fuckerman Optical")....My boss said she would would not give me the week off for Spring Break and that she would fire me (after having been there and never calling in sick for over 3 years) if I went to Florida because we had inventory the week of Spring Break. I was so mad at myself for not getting on that plane!! :twisted:
Needless to say... when the time comes I will certainly teach my kids that there are times in life when it's okay to quit!
Thank you, Spinnaker! Trust me, it took a long time to get to that point (being able to quit jobs). I stayed at my first professional job much longer than I should have. I made half of what my coworkers made to do the same work. My immediate supervisor tried for months to get me fired, and eventually abruptly stopped. But if I still slipped up even a little somewhere, she was there to catch it (and she got another new employee into it at one point). I used to quit jobs after someone passed away.

Then after being unemployed after my first professional job and finding it difficult to get either professional or menial jobs, I felt lucky to get the retail job and stayed there waaay longer than I should've. And the only reason I left that job was because I got fired. Before that I had decided to leave at one point and a supervisor I liked talked me into staying. Then the one who didn't like me fired me later. :roll:

Now I feel so lucky to have gotten out of that place, plus my codependency healing, keeps pushing me toward a healthier lifestyle, but this keeps happening way too much. I feel terrified after I have to quit a job. I don't like it. I know I can't keep continuing on the path I'm on but I just don't know what to do. My depression is out of control and when I'm stressed out so is my anxiety.
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
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Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu May 18, 2017 10:51 pm

Spinnaker, I had similar issues getting time off at my high school job. When you establish yourself as dependable, employers really latch onto that. :lol:
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

JupiterTaco
Posts: 1526
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm

Re: How Many Have Narcissistic Bosses?

Post by JupiterTaco » Thu Jun 08, 2017 12:35 am

JupiterTaco wrote:
Thu May 18, 2017 10:40 pm
Spinnaker wrote:
Thu May 18, 2017 9:59 pm
You've got the stories JT!

At least you know how to quit a job! I was such a wuss that I put up with horrible bosses until I got a great internship, my degree or had a baby!

I didn't even quit a job in college which I bought a non-refundable ticket to go to Florida for Spring Break with my minimum wage job at Tuckerman Optical (I refer to it today as "Fuckerman Optical")....My boss said she would would not give me the week off for Spring Break and that she would fire me (after having been there and never calling in sick for over 3 years) if I went to Florida because we had inventory the week of Spring Break. I was so mad at myself for not getting on that plane!! :twisted:
Needless to say... when the time comes I will certainly teach my kids that there are times in life when it's okay to quit!
I used to quit jobs after someone passed away.
I just realized how bad that sounds. I didn't quit because someone left me money or something, it was just that it took losing someone important to me to realize how off-track my life had always gotten. :-B
"Be careful with your heart and what you love, make sure that it was sent from above"-John Mellencamp/India.Arie Peaceful World

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