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Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

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Is your SO objectively more attractive than your LO? Who are you more physically attracted to?

Yes, and I am more physically attracted to my SO
4
17%
Yes, but I'm more physically attracted to my LO anyway
11
46%
No, and I am more physically attracted to my LO
8
33%
No, but I'm more physically attracted to my SO anyway
1
4%
 
Total votes: 24

Pandora
Posts: 311
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Pandora » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:45 pm

We're only talking pure, unadulterated, dirty, physical attraction here. Emotional attraction need not enter the equation for this poll!
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

Acrobatica
Posts: 555
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2018 6:02 pm
France

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Acrobatica » Sun Sep 09, 2018 11:27 pm

Poor SO was never gonna win on physicality. SO is 53 and overweight his whole life. LO was 21, and a gymnast and circus artist. My friends called him Mr. 16 pack, because he had the most defined abs I have ever seen. And I am still lost when I think about his glutes. Libido! Quit it!!

This is a dangerous way of thinking for me, because shouldn’t other things besides physical matter more??

Pandora
Posts: 311
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Pandora » Sun Sep 09, 2018 11:42 pm

Acrobatica wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 11:27 pm
This is a dangerous way of thinking for me, because shouldn’t other things besides physical matter more??
To be fair, limerence colours pretty much everything else. Negative traits are glossed over, the mere hint of a positive personality trait is blown out of proportion until the LO is a benevolent, god-like figure. So limerence tells us that the 'other things' are all present in abundance in the LO, whether it's the truth or not.
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

Name
Posts: 31
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:32 pm
Gender:
New Zealand

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Name » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:08 pm

.
Last edited by Name on Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

limmer
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:47 am
United States of America

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by limmer » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:13 pm

I would recommend those to whom this topic is of importance also look into ROCD.

I definitely married up. She’s a 1 in a million type of person.

Once I found the “weaknesses” in my wife that my LO possessed the LE began.

I’m constantly evaluating my relationship even though rationally it’s solid. It’s my own guilt or self esteem issues, but ultimately my insecurity in my relationship has me in evaluation mode.

This doesn’t factor in that my wife and I get along stunningly. This is just biology playing tricks and using everything it can to get me to make babies with other humans.

I’m working on not objectifying people.

mamasita
Posts: 986
Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 10:27 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by mamasita » Mon Sep 10, 2018 4:58 pm

My DH is a 10. Tall dark & handsome, the guy that all the girls like.

The LO is a 6, maybe a 7 to most. But I feel that he is more humble & attractive than my DH although that is really just what I've projected on him. It may not even be true. And I hope one day to look at him and wonder why I thought he was so special. :-??

Pandora
Posts: 311
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2018 4:29 pm
Canada

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Pandora » Mon Sep 10, 2018 6:27 pm

I'm actually a little surprised at the results of the poll thus far! Apparently a lot of us have attractive SOs.

Personally, while my SO is conventionally more attractive, I'm not attracted to conventionally attractive guys in general. I like men around my height, and who do not weigh a lot more than I do (ideally within 20lbs). LO is closer to this description.

However, my husband is definitely facially more attractive to me (he's got a beautiful visage!).
Desire is a state,
a state of ill repair.
It's ill prepared to cope,
it's ill prepared to care.

Acrobatica
Posts: 555
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2018 6:02 pm
France

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Acrobatica » Mon Sep 10, 2018 7:01 pm

This poll gets right at something I feel ashamed of. SO and I differ enormously on activity levels and food. I work out constantly and eat well. SO doesn’t. I have never been physically attracted to SO, though he can be funny and kind. I never thought that mattered or should matter.

But after realizing that I am not asexual, in my 40s, I wonder how much it does. And then I wonder, if it does, what difference does it make, because while I can be highly attracted to the male form, (and this feeling of potent attraction is really new for me) I can’t expect those with the kind of male form I am attracted to, to be attracted back to middle aged me. (Why couldn’t I have felt this strongly in my twenties when I may have had a shot?).

Perhaps it is the rising testosterone levels associated with middle age and weightlifting, but I find myself in the position of the prototypical mid life crisis man, wanting the sexy young twenty something with killer abs. But I don’t have the red sports car or the CEO status to get that person. Oh my god am I really this shallow?

Maddie
Posts: 1111
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:09 am
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Your SO, your LO and objective attractiveness

Post by Maddie » Mon Sep 10, 2018 9:47 pm

Acro, you are too funny! :))

I hear ya! I wonder if with "my" LO, if him being closer to my height turns me on (My SO is super tall and I'm short). I can also see that he looks like he has a good build (upper body) even though I've only seen him with his shirt on....

lemme stop!
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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