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Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:17 am
Great Britain


Post by LostAgain » Thu May 31, 2018 11:29 pm

I wonder how many of us have gravitated to a 'LO' when the sex has fallen away with our current partners and we are bewildered as to why.
I know that there is so much more to LE but loss of libido seems to be a biggy.
As for me,relationship has finally ended with SO,I doubt whether my libido will ever revive.Actually kind of a relief in a funny way.
Alas,when I see LO I still want to explore every inch of her body.Pure imagination.Trying to avoid her.
Yes,I am a sad old twat,but I have some awareness of it and of the long history of stupid infatuations.

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United States of America

Re: Libido

Post by Maddie » Fri Jun 01, 2018 12:38 am

I definitely think a loss of libido played a role. And thinking of LO- back then -gave me a huge rush of sexual energy that I couldn't seem to transfer to SO.

I'm still struggling in that area. But a PA with LO would have probably caused hell on earth for myself and likely our families.

Just wish I could forget him-- exLO that is
This recovery really takes work! I must retrain my brain!!!!

I'm so foggy today.......
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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United States of America

Re: Libido

Post by L-F » Fri Jun 01, 2018 4:47 am

Libidos are funny things. I think they come and go. Depends on stress levels and hormones plus a whole heap of other factors.

Not sure how to revive a dead libido. When you like what you see I'm sure it will come back.
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

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Saint-Martin (French part)

Re: Libido

Post by Havb » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:07 am

For me LE didn’t come when sex with SO decreased, but rather when I was/am feeling less attractive due to getting older and putting on some weight. I notice this younger beautiful guy notice me and wham!! I’m like a 12 year old batting my eyelashes, swaying my hips, and flirting everywhere. So embarrassing and narcissistic and I’m sure he noticed. Thank god I got a handle on 98% of all that. I still want him to think I’m attractive for some reason L-)
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

There is always more work to be done.

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