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poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

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LisaTranscending
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poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by LisaTranscending » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:39 am

so I was gone for a long day at work. ex took care of kid. when I came home there was a nice bottle of cognac waiting for me.

poll....do I just accept it and be cool about it like no big deal?

or do I send an email thanking him?

yes okay yes...it's come to second guessing myself. I suppose it's because my feelings aren't very clear on any of it. looking to forum to help clarify things for me.

is sending the thank you encouraging him? I had this dream that I was in an airplane that was nose diving the entire time I was in it. Before the plane took off I was so careful about tight seatbelt...putting some books under me to give me some height since the belt was loose...and the plane takes off....and next thing you know...I'm in a severe nose dive!
it was so weird because even though it felt like it was going to be a death experience (it was a near death situation of just free falling from the sky). but somehow...I was so calm and cool...I said to another person sitting next to me (who I still can't identify)' "Don't worry, this plane at the last minute will just lift and elegantly skim all across the water before a soft landing." before the plane managed to land as I foretold, I awoke. but not upset or jumping out of a sleep..actually quite rested and calm.

the last time I saw him he told me he had this dream that a bear was attacking him.

lol...we are a mess.
Last edited by LisaTranscending on Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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CrushedSO
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Re: poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by CrushedSO » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:44 am

I would definitely thank him for it. It’s the polite thing to do.

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Spinnaker
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Re: poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by Spinnaker » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:28 am

My vote: Yes. Short. Gracious as possible without being too personal.

I love how you are sitting on books! You are armed with knowledge that you will survive, Lisa! Sounds like your ex is afraid. Stay strong and enjoy your cognac!
Last edited by Spinnaker on Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
"We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality."
Iris Murdoch

L-F
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Re: poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by L-F » Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:50 am

is sending the thank you encouraging him? it would depend of how OTT you were with the thank you.

Your dream sounds like the ending to my post on 'well shit...' where you free-fall and have faith. This sentence... Don't worry, this plane at the last minute will just lift and elegantly skim all across the water before a soft landing... highlights that. It is as if you are scared yet know deep down you can trust yourself. Well thats my take :)

So trust @};-
When you are external facing,
how do you expect to do the inner work? :-??

mamasita
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Re: poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by mamasita » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:27 pm

What are you thanking him FOR? Sorry if I missed that part. For taking care of child and bringing you cognac?

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LisaTranscending
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Re: poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by LisaTranscending » Wed Jan 24, 2018 9:24 pm

the child care he never fails about since like day 1 that both kids were born. it's the husband part that always felt wrong with me.
so I sent a short little email thanking him (for the cognac). the cognac was a gift for me. just waiting for me after a long day at work. shows he is thinking about me not just a child-care issue.

more than anything...I'm glad we aren't angry any longer.

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CrushedSO
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Re: poll...should I formally thank ex or just be cool?

Post by CrushedSO » Thu Jan 25, 2018 1:13 am

LisaTranscending wrote:
Wed Jan 24, 2018 9:24 pm
the child care he never fails about since like day 1 that both kids were born. it's the husband part that always felt wrong with me.
so I sent a short little email thanking him (for the cognac). the cognac was a gift for me. just waiting for me after a long day at work. shows he is thinking about me not just a child-care issue.

more than anything...I'm glad we aren't angry any longer.
What felt wrong about the husband part? Curious as I obviously don’t know your background or the dynamic between you two.

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