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Limerence and therapy

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Therapy

Have you gone for therapy for limerence?
4
12%
Yes I have gone for therapy.
8
24%
I have not sought therapy.
8
24%
Yes it was effective
5
15%
No it didn't really help
3
9%
My therapist knew about limerence
0
No votes
My therapist had never heard of limerence
6
18%
 
Total votes: 34

SuckerForDopamine
Posts: 107
Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2017 5:32 pm

Limerence and therapy

Post by SuckerForDopamine » Sat Sep 30, 2017 2:29 am

This is a poll to find out how many of us have sought therapy for limerence and how effective it has been.
"I loved you from the beginning..."

Pudding
Posts: 671
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:45 am
Canada

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by Pudding » Sat Sep 30, 2017 3:24 am

I checked off that I've gone to therapy for my LE and that it has helped. I never really got a clear answer on if my T had heard of limerence but it doesn't really matter so much as I feel she has been effective in trying to help me figure out the why, and get me back on track. I would say it has been very slow (almost a year ago now that I found the term and this board, started therapy at the start of 2017, and only feel slightly "better" but his could also be due to NC for the past three months), but it has definitely improved.
F 38
LO is M 35, my son’s former teacher
LC beyond my control ~x(

L-F
Posts: 1834
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by L-F » Sat Sep 30, 2017 3:43 am

Nope. If you seek therapy it means you are sick in the head, people will poke fun at you, you get a record (mental person be aware) which potentially looks bad for potential employers. And there's the perception you are likely to go off the rails and can't be trusted. Therapy here is not seen as something to boast about, nor acknowledge if you go.

Pretty sad, but that's our culture. It's getting better but we are still in the dark ages when it comes to signing up, and talking about it.

For many, therapy is the sissy way out. Toughen up is pretty much the Kiwi philosophy.
A first date question: "how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and tell me how you are actively working to heal them before you project that shit on me?"

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french girl
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:48 pm

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by french girl » Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:36 pm

L-F wrote:
Sat Sep 30, 2017 3:43 am
If you seek therapy it means you are sick in the head, people will poke fun at you, you get a record (mental person be aware) which potentially looks bad for potential employers. And there's the perception you are likely to go off the rails and can't be trusted. Therapy here is not seen as something to boast about, nor acknowledge if you go.

Pretty sad, but that's our culture. It's getting better but we are still in the dark ages when it comes to signing up, and talking about it.
Totally agree with that.
When you acknowledge you might be a little sick in the head, it's like allowing people to judge everything you do through that lens...
As you say "you can't be trusted", and everything you say or do has no value anymore...

"looks bad for potential employers", I agree with that, but I have a pretty lousy job already... :D
Of course, it could be worst, I could lose this job too... L-)

So I don't really care and I tried therapy, because I'm very lonely too, and it feels good just talking to someone.
But it didn't help much for limerence...

NVTS
Posts: 347
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by NVTS » Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:45 pm

If you are in a sensitive position, you may try therapy under a pseudonym and pay cash so as not to have an offial record or have your insurance company find out.
My therapist has obliged me in this regard.
M-47-married
LO- married 47,work colleagues

Cookie
Posts: 373
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm
United States of America

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by Cookie » Mon Oct 02, 2017 5:02 pm

Windy1 wrote:
Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:45 pm
If you are in a sensitive position, you may try therapy under a pseudonym and pay cash so as not to have an offial record or have your insurance company find out.
My therapist has obliged me in this regard.
Yep, paying cash is the way to go. Just started going again for my current relapse after an LO-free decade.

Also, in terms of being "judged," you don't have to broadcast that you are going to therapy or why you are going. I don't go around telling people when and why I'm going to the Ob-Gyn.

I will say that having dealt with these issues for so long, although I did not know about limerence, I have read many books and articles that conclude that most personality disorder-type things are not really "curable." So all we can really gain is behavior modification. That's good enough for me at the moment, but I'm certainly not expecting miracles.

Spinnaker
Posts: 1828
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
Contact:
United States of America

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by Spinnaker » Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:04 pm

Agree with Cookie and Windy.... there are options.

I've learned addiction is addiction. Like limerence, it can creep up in you. We often struggle with more than one... IMO it's how we are wired. Gambling, Rx meds, porn/sex, alcohol... at any point in our lives we can succumb or be vulnerable. I choose openness in order to help anyone struggling admit they feel poweless and tortured by their addiction(s).
Last edited by Spinnaker on Sun Mar 18, 2018 7:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Radey
Posts: 316
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:10 am
Great Britain

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by Radey » Mon Oct 02, 2017 7:31 pm

It is sad that therapy has to be kept under wraps.
Last edited by Radey on Sat Oct 07, 2017 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

L-F
Posts: 1834
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Limerence and therapy

Post by L-F » Tue Oct 03, 2017 6:46 am

french girl wrote:
Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:36 pm
So I don't really care and I tried therapy, because I'm very lonely too, and it feels good just talking to someone.
But it didn't help much for limerence...
Aww sorry it didn't help much with limerence. Yeah, the way society sees things can be harmful. On the positive side, views do change with time.

I didn't get therapy because LO was probably the only therapist in the country who knew about limerence :) ironically she comes from abroad.

I don't personally have an issue with it. Just haven't bothered. This board (peer support) is enough for me.
A first date question: "how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and tell me how you are actively working to heal them before you project that shit on me?"

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