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Serial limerence.WTF?

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Re: Serial limerence.WTF?

Post by NVTS » Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:30 am

I am looking back at this thing called limerence and one of the more important things I have learned is that I am a serial limerent. Since I didn't post a proper introduction(sorry Anon for bursting your introductory thread), I will try here by couching it in my life of serial limerence.

The first true episode was for EH, cute and very smart in 4th grade. My mother found my "love notes" to her and instead of thinking it was cute she scolded me for liking a girl of a different ethnicity,this episode lasted until she went to private school sometime in 5th grade.

Then came KCR, I had known her from about 3rd grade but she lived in a different part of the city very far away. She is of a similar cultural background and is very intelligent. I moved around a lot in the same city and was always very far from her. This lasted until about 9th or 10th grade.She never liked me nearly as much as I liked her, as a matter of fact I came to learn that she detested me.

I kept moving and there were a few LE'S in between very short but very intense.

I have mentioned the LE for LS from Holland in another thread, this was 12th grade.No reciprocity there either.

I was limerent for her until I met SM in India. SM moved back to her home town within a year and I never heard from her again, it turns out she is a fairly famous TV actress in India. I remember her being very bubbly and intelligent.Again no reciprocity.

Then a coulpe of years later there was SD, I actually asked her out on a date and asked her to be involved with me in a more meaningful way and she outright rejected me! I felt like was stabbed in the heart. I went into a DEEP depression until I met SG( the 20+ year LE). The moment that I felt ANY perceived reciprocity from SG all thoughts of SD went by the wayside.

SG lasted for about 2 years until I left India, but thoughts of her persist to this day. NC was a blessing even though I didn't know that it was a "thing".

There was a brief LE for KG in my early years of marriage when DW was pregnant with our first.

Then after a long dormancy CE shows up in my life this year. Totally not wanting or expecting it, but there it is!

The above trail of LE's is littered with depression,low self esteem, feeling like an outsider, substance abuse, thoughts of suicide,etc,etc.

I was lucky to have married a smart and beautiful woman but she has issues of her own, somehow we made it 20 years together.

The one good thing about "limerence" is that I have the ability to look back and see the pattern and also work on my issues. I can only hope that it doesn't happen again.
LO- married 47,work colleagues

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