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How long did you know your LO for before LE?

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Poll on how long you knew your LO for before limerence started?

Less than 1 hour
19
17%
1-24 hours
3
3%
2-7 days
7
6%
7-28 days
18
16%
2-6 months
24
21%
7-12 months
8
7%
More than 1 year
36
31%
 
Total votes: 115

EXlfjb
Posts: 1685
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by EXlfjb » Sun Oct 23, 2016 2:53 am

This is a difficult one. There was an instant unexplainable attraction (or was that fear?) of some sort, which did not develop into LE until 18 months later. Though it was during this time that I started to question my mind (thought I was starting to lose it). I instantly felt something, though did not register my feelings until much later, if this makes sense, though nothing about limerence makes sense.

townshend
Posts: 861
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:19 am
United States of America

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by townshend » Sat Nov 11, 2017 7:43 pm

I was just thinking of how weird it is that I’ve been limerent for like 2.5 years which means I’ve thought about this person every single day for like 900 days
but it really only took seconds to become limerent.

I know we were introduced first but I didn’t think anything of it and it was a couple weeks of barely noticing one another (I mean I thought he was attractive but I barely remembered his name) before he talked to me for the first actual time. And it honestly took no more than 2 minutes before he did the thing that like a light switch made me go “yeeeepp, I like him”. I guess it wasn’t immediately limerence, the crystallization thing had to happen and everything he said and did after that just made me like him more/proved why I did in the first place.

Anyway if you look at it one way it took me a couple weeks to become Limerent but really it took just like 30-90 seconds.....And now look at me :-h b-(

NVTS
Posts: 302
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by NVTS » Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:13 am

...
Last edited by NVTS on Fri Mar 30, 2018 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
M-46-married
LO- married 47,work colleagues

Idiotic
Posts: 1306
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by Idiotic » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:20 am

In surprised with the high percentage of under an hour.
Boy...youre gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, a long time - Golden Slumbers(The Beatles)

User avatar
David
Site Admin
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Location: London UK
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Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by David » Sun Nov 12, 2017 12:46 pm

Idiotic wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:20 am
In surprised with the high percentage of under an hour.
For me its further evidence that so much of how much of attraction is unconscious. We like to think we are conscious decision making beings =)) =)) , my experience of my own and others has been far from that.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

Male 58

Idiotic
Posts: 1306
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by Idiotic » Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:05 pm

David wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 12:46 pm
so much of how much of attraction is unconscious.
Tell me about it! #:-s
Boy...youre gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, a long time - Golden Slumbers(The Beatles)

kenophobia
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2016 3:01 pm

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by kenophobia » Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:46 pm

David wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 12:46 pm
how much of attraction is unconscious.
Attraction is principally determined by propinquity ( Miller, R, Perlman, D, & Brehm, S (2006). Intimate Relationships. New York: McGraw-Hill ) and facial similarity (Penton-Voak, Perrett and Peirce (1999)).

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french girl
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:48 pm

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by french girl » Sun Nov 12, 2017 7:38 pm

I remember the exact day when limerence started. It was the Tuesday of the third week I was working in this new place.
The first two weeks, LO was around all along, but we didn't work together.

He's such a distant and cold guy, I don't know exactly what I was thinking about him the first two weeks. Maybe that he was a bit weird - most people have that opinion about him because his coldness may seem a bit exaggerated and artificial.
But I'm not even sure I realized he was weird : I didn't think much about him at first, because I'm really shy and when I'm in a new place, I tend to withdraw a lot and I'm not very curious about other people generally (which is sad, but that's the way I am...)

I didn't really look at him the first two weeks either. He's not that handsome, anyway.
And then the third week, I had to work with him.
He talked to me, and after five minutes of conversation, I remember I told myself : "I must have this guy as a friend".

So it took only a few minutes, really... And then I began to wonder if a friendship with a guy was possible (I already had a boyfriend), and that's how limerence began. Two days after that, I realized that anyway, LO didn't want to be my friend either. So these two impossibilities were getting in the way of what I wanted so much : I think that's how it developed into full limerence.

It's been four years now, and I never succeeded in gaining LO's trust (so we're not friends...).
I regularly lose the little trust he can have in me... Even when we get along all right, I have a hard time getting his attention. I'm probably boring, and selfish, and of course I'm ugly, but I'd like to be a friend anyway... And I'm needy, of course, it's probably the main problem when you're limerent...

Cookie
Posts: 325
Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2017 4:08 pm

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by Cookie » Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:23 pm

Within a few days. Probably would have been sooner, but when he first made his move I was really busy and didn't realize what he was doing. Once I read his love-bombing texts, I was "sold." That is literally all it took. What did I read on here, "the first guy to come along with a six-pack and a few compliments"? I think that was said on here. Either way, I made myself pretty cheap and available, and very quickly. It's a shame the undoing of it can't go that fast.

marko
Posts: 1288
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm
United States of America

Re: How long did you know your LO for before LE?

Post by marko » Mon Nov 13, 2017 5:06 pm

Last year at this time we were interacting quite a bit. Kind of like a blurr as I don't remember much about it. I know by Christmas I began thinking about her after work more and more often. I didn't think her viable but she was young and hot. We get no appreciation here and we began this "I appreciate" you thing that began to take hold. I think because she attached it to remembered events it felt special. In January I began to loose reality, first week of February I found this place.

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