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but it really only took seconds to become limerent.
I know we were introduced first but I didn’t think anything of it and it was a couple weeks of barely noticing one another (I mean I thought he was attractive but I barely remembered his name) before he talked to me for the first actual time. And it honestly took no more than 2 minutes before he did the thing that like a light switch made me go “yeeeepp, I like him”. I guess it wasn’t immediately limerence, the crystallization thing had to happen and everything he said and did after that just made me like him more/proved why I did in the first place.
Anyway if you look at it one way it took me a couple weeks to become Limerent but really it took just like 30-90 seconds.....And now look at me
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For me its further evidence that so much of how much of attraction is unconscious. We like to think we are conscious decision making beings , my experience of my own and others has been far from that.
For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence
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- french girl
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The first two weeks, LO was around all along, but we didn't work together.
He's such a distant and cold guy, I don't know exactly what I was thinking about him the first two weeks. Maybe that he was a bit weird - most people have that opinion about him because his coldness may seem a bit exaggerated and artificial.
But I'm not even sure I realized he was weird : I didn't think much about him at first, because I'm really shy and when I'm in a new place, I tend to withdraw a lot and I'm not very curious about other people generally (which is sad, but that's the way I am...)
I didn't really look at him the first two weeks either. He's not that handsome, anyway.
And then the third week, I had to work with him.
He talked to me, and after five minutes of conversation, I remember I told myself : "I must have this guy as a friend".
So it took only a few minutes, really... And then I began to wonder if a friendship with a guy was possible (I already had a boyfriend), and that's how limerence began. Two days after that, I realized that anyway, LO didn't want to be my friend either. So these two impossibilities were getting in the way of what I wanted so much : I think that's how it developed into full limerence.
It's been four years now, and I never succeeded in gaining LO's trust (so we're not friends...).
I regularly lose the little trust he can have in me... Even when we get along all right, I have a hard time getting his attention. I'm probably boring, and selfish, and of course I'm ugly, but I'd like to be a friend anyway... And I'm needy, of course, it's probably the main problem when you're limerent...
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Limerent for as long as I can remember
Have had 7 "real" LOs in the last 25 years
(...had a recent 8, but he was easy to release. Progress?!)
Last real LO is male, age 44, married AND has another GF!
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