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What attracted you to your LO?

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What of the 4 characteristics attracted you to your LO. You can tick more than one box.

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What attracted you to your LO?

Post by David » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:26 am

On a recent ManKind training, we checked in using PIES

P = Physical = how we are feeling in our bodies
I = Intelectual - whats going on in our minds?
E = emotionally - how we are feeling
S = spiritual = where are at spiritually, whatever that means for each person

I was then listening to some of Joe Beam's podcasts on Marriage Helper. He talks a lot of sense and comes from a non-shaming approach which for me is important. He users the L word a lot and talks of limerent affairs. He uses the term in the context of that infatuated new relationship energy. I then heard him mention attraction and PIES. Lo and behold, he uses the same acronym when describing attraction when we are drawn to our LO, it being one or any more of the PIES.

I thought it would be interesting to do a poll to see what combination of traits you were drawn to in your LO?

Just tick one or more boxes that relates to the PIES.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by Heart_Open » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:46 am

I would have to think/have some help here haha It is difficult so separate them out...

When I first met my LO he drove me mad. I found him loud and obnoxious and I would leave work with a headache. It was only in his absence when he went on holiday that I realised I felt empty - and subsequently when he returned I felt amazing (I have described this before as if I was a battery being instantly charged in his presence!). In that sense - physical.

We talked and talked and talked (the bit I missed most) - so would that make it intellectual? I equate intellectual attraction with having similar thoughts and opinions - ours were quite different. But I suppose that is still relevant.

Emotionally - I'm stuck with this. I felt something so profound but I can't quite put my finger on it. It was all mixed up - in my mind, constant racing thoughts about him, in my body this sense of being alive when I was around him and empty when not. Emotionally? I'm not sure when this kicked in. Frustration with him maybe, that he didn't get my signals, I don't really know.

Spiritually - I felt something - a spiritual connection. I have always been spiritually minded and believe in connections. I could feel a connection physically, and see it (if I looked) psychically (if that makes sense). I believe in flying through the stars and I amaze in wonder at the universe. He once said he was scared of the vastness of the sky. I look within, he does not have the tools to do that. So - although I felt a connection on the spiritual level, if we 'intellected' about spiritual stuff we were very different.

With DH though - we link on all four levels and always have done. Sorry - overthinking everything as usual!

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by Casey.k » Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:25 am

I checked all four. First three were easy, but I hesitated on the spiritual. Still not sure but I checked it anyway.

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by Anna » Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:42 am

It must have been emotional, because physically he is not my type and I still don't understand what pulls me... can't be intellectual, because he is more down to earth and not engaging in any intellectual discussions with me... it could be somehow spiritual, but I haven't had a chance to exchange thoughts on that, so that leaves only emotional... it's all so weird..

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by sydney0845 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 6:57 pm

I ticked the first three. I liked her pretty quickly, and there were a couple of things she said, with a good turn of phrase that made me like her. Quite soon after we first met I saw her at hers - given that we didn't know each other that well, although I didn't give it too much thought at the time, I realised afterwards that that demonstrated quite a lot of trust on her part towards me, which I think was very positive. And she has been quite open with me about some personal stuff. I think she probably is generally, but it's still been a factor in drawing me to her I suppose.

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by EXlfjb » Wed Mar 08, 2017 7:13 pm

Well given wrong gender and all....

Her intelligence. Then everything flowed after that. Oddly, any woman who looks like her makes my heart skip a beat (there are not many who can pull off the perfect masculine/feminine balance). Strong jawline, tall, solid (not overweight not underweight)... the perfect sheman :)

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by CybelRising » Wed Mar 08, 2017 7:45 pm

I remember telling him early on, with a laugh, that we had the wrong kind of connection for a friendship. Intellectual, spiritual and physical attraction and if an emotional bond were to form we would be in serious trouble. Should have known better...

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by LwL » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:49 pm

Emotional was the big thing for me. There was an element of intellectual, as she is witty, but I seem to have a sixth sense for women that clearly need my emotional support. I am so selfless :roll:

The physical kind of ran along in parallel. I always found her attractive, but it escalated powerfully as the limerence progressed.

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by WonkyBrainThe2nd » Thu Mar 09, 2017 12:58 pm

Can someone explain to me what an emotional attraction is? I don't understand the concept :oops:

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Re: What attracted you to your LO?

Post by Wallflower » Sun May 21, 2017 2:15 pm


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