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P = Physical = how we are feeling in our bodies
I = Intelectual - whats going on in our minds?
E = emotionally - how we are feeling
S = spiritual = where are at spiritually, whatever that means for each person
I was then listening to some of Joe Beam's podcasts on Marriage Helper. He talks a lot of sense and comes from a non-shaming approach which for me is important. He users the L word a lot and talks of limerent affairs. He uses the term in the context of that infatuated new relationship energy. I then heard him mention attraction and PIES. Lo and behold, he uses the same acronym when describing attraction when we are drawn to our LO, it being one or any more of the PIES.
I thought it would be interesting to do a poll to see what combination of traits you were drawn to in your LO?
Just tick one or more boxes that relates to the PIES.
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When I first met my LO he drove me mad. I found him loud and obnoxious and I would leave work with a headache. It was only in his absence when he went on holiday that I realised I felt empty - and subsequently when he returned I felt amazing (I have described this before as if I was a battery being instantly charged in his presence!). In that sense - physical.
We talked and talked and talked (the bit I missed most) - so would that make it intellectual? I equate intellectual attraction with having similar thoughts and opinions - ours were quite different. But I suppose that is still relevant.
Emotionally - I'm stuck with this. I felt something so profound but I can't quite put my finger on it. It was all mixed up - in my mind, constant racing thoughts about him, in my body this sense of being alive when I was around him and empty when not. Emotionally? I'm not sure when this kicked in. Frustration with him maybe, that he didn't get my signals, I don't really know.
Spiritually - I felt something - a spiritual connection. I have always been spiritually minded and believe in connections. I could feel a connection physically, and see it (if I looked) psychically (if that makes sense). I believe in flying through the stars and I amaze in wonder at the universe. He once said he was scared of the vastness of the sky. I look within, he does not have the tools to do that. So - although I felt a connection on the spiritual level, if we 'intellected' about spiritual stuff we were very different.
With DH though - we link on all four levels and always have done. Sorry - overthinking everything as usual!
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Her intelligence. Then everything flowed after that. Oddly, any woman who looks like her makes my heart skip a beat (there are not many who can pull off the perfect masculine/feminine balance). Strong jawline, tall, solid (not overweight not underweight)... the perfect sheman
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The physical kind of ran along in parallel. I always found her attractive, but it escalated powerfully as the limerence progressed.
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