Thanks for sharing, Nax. It will take courage on your part not to see him, but it's great that you have reached a place where you don't really want to see him anyway. I'm glad to hear that you are finding it easier to live your life with him far away than with him close.Nax wrote:My LO moved to the other side of the world almost 18 months ago. I was convinced it was the end and I would never see him again. Like you, I thought it would be a blessing in disguise. I expected him to find someone and tell me he couldn't talk to me anymore, or even that he would just forget to contact me at all. I also hoped the distance would lessen the limerence. I was prepared for round #235 of heartbreak.
In actual fact he's been more consistent with his contact than before. He calls me almost every weekend. He did find someone new, but I've found I'm not jealous. I envy her, but I have no anxiety about losing him as a friend anymore. That's been the biggest blessing. I'm still limerent, but I don't believe I love him. I don't think we belong together. It's simply a strong connection that neither of us seems to want to break. It's easier to live with like this. I am supposed to be visiting him in September, but I'm actually thinking of cancelling as I don't particularly want to see him. Old wounds and all that.
I'm pretty sure that will be the case for me as well. My friend has not officially decided to leave, but I think the probability of her doing so is at least 0.95 and I can't really envision a scenario under which she wouldn't leave at this point. There is a chance that she would be able to move back here less than a year after leaving (and it would be her preference to do so), but I'm not expecting that to happen and even if she were to move back, we would no longer live in the same building and things would be different.
I don’t know whether we will keep in touch or not if/when she moves. I know that she will be overwhelmingly busy and will have very limited time for communicating with her friends and family, and I’m sure that there will be several people ahead of me on her list of people to keep in touch with during the limited time she has. While I do think that she enjoys communicating with me, I have had really good friends move away in the past who then made no effort to keep in touch with me, so I haven't really had much in the way of positive experience with long-distance friendships. I won’t put any pressure on her, and I am essentially treating her move to mean the end of our relationship altogether…