Over a year now...

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
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L-F
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Over a year now...

Post by L-F »

The two people I speak of are in another thread and appear to be limerent over me. This has gone on for over a year.

They don't scare me, and I refuse to be disrespectful to them.

My question to you is... what can I possible do to help them to become unattached?

It is not flattering for me being the LO. Though I have learned a lot over this time, I was hoping their interest would have gone by now.
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

Spinnaker
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Re: Over a year now...

Post by Spinnaker »

8-|
Last edited by Spinnaker on Sun Nov 04, 2018 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
“...the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affects us, so the increase in our consciousness affects the unconscious.”
Carl Jung

L-F
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Re: Over a year now...

Post by L-F »

I know they are innocent enough. Annoying, but not scary.

I could up the anti so to speak and make their day with laughter and banter, but really don’t want to encourage them. I see them enough without encouraging them. I don’t view it as full blown limerence because you'd have to be in their heads to know that (but if it was it still doesn't scare me). I've downplayed it to just needing a 'mother' type figure and perhaps pep talks, IDK :-?? I really don't feel like I offer them a great deal of value, not when the conversations are stilted. So I can't work out why they keep visiting? They may as you say, just enjoy my company.

Incidentally, if I got firm with them, do you think that will discourage someone limerent?
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

JohnDeux
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Re: Over a year now...

Post by JohnDeux »

L-F wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:14 am
.... I refuse to be disrespectful to them.
Spinnaker wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:56 am
.... those encounters taught me to be more assertive and definitely make a seamless exit from boring conversations.
Yeah....so I had to chuckle over this a bit. SO is originally from the east coast of the US where people don't mince words where as I'm from the midwest, passive-aggressive center of the universe. She would have no problem whatsoever in calling the unwanted attention what it is and if they felt disrespected, that would be their problem. She looks at my own lack of assertiveness and wonders how I even got out of the womb!... B-)

(....Hmmmmm.....maybe I didn't! =)) )
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

L-F
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Re: Over a year now...

Post by L-F »

.
Last edited by L-F on Thu Oct 10, 2019 10:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

JohnDeux
Posts: 2001
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:42 pm

Re: Over a year now...

Post by JohnDeux »

L-F wrote:
Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:00 pm

I don't know JD. Its not something I set out to do (harm them), if I did I'd tell them to rack off.

.....

But when and how do you confront someone who hasn't and is not likely to disclose?
Yeah, I see what you are saying here. I mean, it sounds like one of the two people was there originally as a client and the other (the gardener?) is a fellow employee, but in a different capacity. The one who was the client may be treated a bit more gingerly perhaps, but the question is whether or not either of them are impeding your performance in anyway. And it doesn't have to be by rote interruption....perhaps with the groundskeeper it can be his presence where you feel like he's taking too much of a gawking interest in you and making those hours uncomfortable as a consequence. I guess,....and just as an interpretation of what my SO would feel in a similar situation...., sometimes we have to be firm with those who would give us the *impression* of being injured by our comments. In such a case, their injury is, I suspect, unwarranted.....conscious or not, they are using the situation for one kind of supply or other. The best I've gotten to in recent years is just telling certain co-workers with similar inclinations that I really need to focus and could they come back some other time. Done enough times *can* send the message, but not always. Then more firm words may be needed....even if they end up hurting the recipient a bit. Tough spot....good luck!
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

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