Variation of friendship

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
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NVTS
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Variation of friendship

Post by NVTS »

:
Last edited by NVTS on Sun Mar 10, 2019 3:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Spinnaker
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Re: Variation of friendship

Post by Spinnaker »

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Last edited by Spinnaker on Mon Nov 05, 2018 6:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
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MajorProblemo
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Re: Variation of friendship

Post by MajorProblemo »

This gives me hope.

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NaturalezaMuerta
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Re: Variation of friendship

Post by NaturalezaMuerta »

I work with LO closely every day. I would say that keeping it cordial but structured and focused on work helps sometimes. Sadly, the limerbeast keeps me crossing my best laid plans and boundaries. I think that friendship is impossible while you are feeling this way. The limerence makes it that you will always have ulterior motives and agendas. :-o
They are not responding to you and you are not responding to them. *-:)

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french girl
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Re: Variation of friendship

Post by french girl »

Windy1 wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:56 am
So as professionals and colleagues I would like to be courteous and friendly without being inappropriate and letting limerbeast go crazy with every interaction.
Maybe to check you're remaining"professional", you could compare with the interactions you have with other female coworkers.
If you do have other female coworkers with whom you're supposed to have the same level of interaction, that is.

At work, I have plenty of male coworkers to do that : I can see clearly how I can act differently with LO.
I even have quite "intimate" conversations with some of my male coworkers, and I'm not limerent over them (nor them over me).

I can talk with them about nearly any subject : the dreams we had last night, we can joke about sex, or I would tell them my deepest feelings about life (without them asking for it - I tell them anyway.... :D ).
It's totally inappropriate between coworkers, thinking of it. /:)

But nobody's limerent, so it's all right...
« Love is giving something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it. » Jacques Lacan

NVTS
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Re: Variation of friendship

Post by NVTS »

Thx FG,

Being in a position of leadership AND with the current atmosphere in the USA of #METOO, I am always courteous and friendly to EVERYONE. Although I do notice more women" checking me out" these days I don't take advantage of it. I keep things on the up and up even though I developed strong romantic/sexual feelings for LO, I never did or said anything inappropriate. Whatever flirting was going on was very subtle from either of us.

Since we have been LC since New Years and as tempted as I am to be more flirty I'm not.
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WishMagick
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Re: Variation of friendship

Post by WishMagick »

I can't see the original post but...

I feel like this is what is happening with me and my LO at the moment. It's a variation of friendship.
We are not super close friends (no one can accuse us of having an emotional affair because we are not close), but we are friendly to each other, and we care for each other (he cares for me because I am a fellow human being and he is just a good guy like that).

We both want the best for each other. That is crystal clear.

His "feelings" for me are most likely altruistic. I am trying my best to steer myself there. I am not sure how I am going to do that...

Once I do, we will have a real friendship. I'm hoping so much for this to happen. Then I will be free!
I'm now limerence free! Mindfulness & Traditional spiritualism was my "cure".
"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."

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