Friends after?

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
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Nothing0
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Friends after?

Post by Nothing0 »

Do you think I could be friends with my LO when I don't have limerence for him anymore, or, do you think limerence would come back?

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David
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Re: Friends after?

Post by David »

Why bother? Why waste the energy on wanting to be friends with an LO? Chances are they are high on the narc scale and will just drain your energy. Better save your friendships for people that are more self aware and growing.

That said, until we come out of the fog and do our own growing up, the question you pose is a common and understandable one.
Do you want help with limerence from the founder of this site?
I'm a qualified counsellor, psychotherapist, medical practitioner and leadership coach.
To book a session see http://loverelations.co.uk/on-line-support-for-limerence-from-dr-david-perl/

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Nothing0
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Re: Friends after?

Post by Nothing0 »

Well, I sent him a massage saying I don't have a crush on him anymore and that we could be friends. He did't respond and is barely around anymore. I guess it's for the best.

dian
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Re: Friends after?

Post by dian »

David wrote:
Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:25 am
Why bother? Why waste the energy on wanting to be friends with an LO? Chances are they are high on the narc scale and will just drain your energy. Better save your friendships for people that are more self aware and growing.

That said, until we come out of the fog and do our own growing up, the question you pose is a common and understandable one.
So good , your post, David, thank you!
It supports me, as for 5years now, Ive been kidding myself and making a fool of myself because I want to be friends with him.
And it is still hard to drop this dream...
And I have learnt lots!And still... ~x(

NoDayDreaming

Re: Friends after?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

David said it very well, and i understand it 100%. however, the yearning persists unabated. maybe narcs, bipolar, and borderlines (i'm talking about LOs of course) have such colorful personalities that get us (who are susceptible) addicted in no time and we are hooked for life.

dian
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Re: Friends after?

Post by dian »

Hi DD,
In the thread “its happening again“ you posted a copy of the “graphic“ of how to deal with the limerbeast...
And the way out is : dealing with all the different aspects of limerence and its personal reasons in our lives AND to make the decision to stop it and move on... beautifully done, this overview, Iwasnt able to copy it into this thread.. :-B
I feel I struggle against making this decision, Im not ready yet , although Im nearly there...
Im so grateful for all this support

dian
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Re: Friends after?

Post by dian »

...there is always a decision, even if we are not aware of it and the pull towards LO is overwhelming,
We are never victims...
I was always aware of being responsible for the crazy steps I was taking..., and I decided to still dothem...

NoDayDreaming

Re: Friends after?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

dian wrote:
Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:18 pm
Hi DD,
In the thread “its happening again“ you posted a copy of the “graphic“ of how to deal with the limerbeast...
And the way out is : dealing with all the different aspects of limerence and its personal reasons in our lives AND to make the decision to stop it and move on... beautifully done, this overview, Iwasnt able to copy it into this thread.. :-B
I feel I struggle against making this decision, Im not ready yet , although Im nearly there...
Im so grateful for all this support
do you mean this?

Image

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tnthomas
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Re: Friends after?

Post by tnthomas »

Great flowchart, am keeping a copy for reference.

"Tribe", I've heard of that place from people on other forums, I guess it was quite the "encounter" community. What caused it to become extinct?
...looking for the way out.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Friends after?

Post by NoDayDreaming »

David explained that recently in a thread buried here somewhere, can't find it now.

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