Can we be friends? I hope so.

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
sydney0845
Posts: 320
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 4:27 pm

Re: Can we be friends? I hope so.

Post by sydney0845 »

It seems difficult to know or see what that might be as long are there are what appear to be perfectly rational objective reasons for liking someone.

Is there a line somewhere between simply liking someone rationally, and the whole limerence thing? I guess this is still fairly recent so it may be difficult to distinguish between whatever full blown limerence may be, and a normal crush, as presumably the feeling are the same. From reading on here it sounds like some have had a far far more extreme experience than I have, so far at least.

With the depression thing - she is on medication which mostly keeps her in check, although this time of year can often trigger a bad episode. Definitely some SAD goes on. But generally she can be almost hyper stressful sometimes. There is also an element of her feeling she can be herself more with me, which basically means I see her light up in the company of others in a way that she rarely does with me. When we have talked about it, she says its because she can be herself with me. Which I guess is some kind of compliment, although doesn't change the fact that she is often at her best around others. In the time that we have been together I have, I think, been very supportive and encouraging - it just takes a bit of a toll sometimes.

I definitely wouldn't leave thinking it was some kind of answer. As much as anything all this has really done is stir the sorts of feelings I guess I haven't felt in a long time and its all a bit strange a. knowing what to do with them, and b. not really being able to do anything with them because I'm in a long term relationship.

I also suspect the fact that SO is single is a factor. A barrier to anything even possible happening is in my control, ie separating. But if she was also in a relationship, that would I think have nipped a lot of it in the bud, as her separating would be nothing to do with me, and I assume even more unlikely than things already are.

Presumably if I was single too, I would hope that I would simple make my feelings known as normally happens, and either be rejected or not. And move on in one or other direction afterwards. Its the whole issue of having these feelings whilst in a relationship that is the complicated part. We can't help who we fall for, or when, and all that.

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