Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
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NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

dian,
i get what you mean now. this is a great community and people are not afraid to open themselves up like no other place.

to update my journey, i'm maybe only 1% limerent to my LO. however, it did not make me happier, the opposite. the LE functioned as a powerful distraction and now, i can't be in a denial about some painful issues in my life.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

update: i started taking high dose ashwagandha herb powder (a spoonful, like 2-3 grams) and it's really helping with depression, but with the side effects of sleepiness. i'm happy to say, my limerence factor went down to 0%. I think this is not a coincidence.

Helpmeplease
Posts: 675
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by Helpmeplease »

Do you think that in an LE everyone 'falls in love' with their LO, or are these feelings of 'i love LO' there for some and not others? Seems possible to me given the main element here is addiction which doesn't necessarily map directly on to love

To me these feelings are real even if caused by fantasy. And I am wondering if salvaging a friendship is possible depending on what type for feelings you actually had for LO? For me I can't see how I can have this friendship but I really miss it

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

i duno. it's complicated. every LE is different and some meet the definition of love and some other are just addictions/obsessions. mind you, "the regular" romantic love is a physiologic obsession and hypomania together.

i'm thinking being a friend is more likely when there is compassion and altruism and not just the feel good dopamine fix. but ultimately, we are altruistic to really feel good about ourselves.

i'm sure you'll overcome obsession and addiction of LE at some point.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dian
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:58 pm
Austria

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by dian »

Hi DD, please be careful with the herbal powder . Iknow ofa Chinese“herbalpowder tthatwas mixed wwith Cortison. Do you have a reliable source, where you get it from?

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

dian, i bought the powder of "organic Ashwagandha" from US Amazon, sourced from India. $15/450g. Looks and tastes legit, that is yuck! I'm taking it 3x day, after or even better before every meal or coffee. meals lead to spikes in cortisol, and it's even worse after caffeine. i'm clearly calmer and noticed LE going down and not coming back.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

ironically, shortly after i congratulated myself on the 0% limerence, the limerence shot up again. yes, there was a trigger over the weekend, but a minor one. quite a setback. BTW, this is not a happy feeling. may need to up the meds.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Helpmeplease
Posts: 675
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by Helpmeplease »

Sorry DD :(
So hard to tame.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

thanks HMP,
she did ghost me after all. at this point, i don't care anymore. i'm active on some other mental health forums as a distraction. meditations (and medications) also help.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Pattihopeful
Posts: 789
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:18 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by Pattihopeful »

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Last edited by Pattihopeful on Sun Jun 28, 2020 1:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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