Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

progress is hard. i'm slowly resigning to think we can't be real friends.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Helpmeplease
Posts: 675
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by Helpmeplease »

Sorry DD :(
Wishing you luck with this , would be great to know it's possible!!

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

Helpmeplease wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 4:53 pm
Sorry DD :(
Wishing you luck with this , would be great to know it's possible!!
as i just wrote in another thread, I realized she is an unhappy and in a way a toxic type of person, that can't be helped, and should be avoided in the first place. obviously, i didn't see it while under the influence of LE and her trying to put her in the best light.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Pattihopeful
Posts: 789
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:18 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by Pattihopeful »

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Last edited by Pattihopeful on Fri Jun 26, 2020 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

Pattihopeful wrote:
Sat Apr 13, 2019 1:56 pm
Sorry DD. I wish we could be friends but I am wondering too. I want something to make my feelings go poof and be magically unattracted to him and see him like a brother only. I am wondering if I think LO is not as great friend material as I think he is? Limerance is awful!!!
i just recently found this and this summarizes well things that worked well for me personally: https://livingwithlimerence.com/2017/03 ... limerence/

please read and try them one by one.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Helpmeplease
Posts: 675
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by Helpmeplease »

DD are you still seeking friends/holy Grail ? Do you worry the negative side of LE will return?

Wonder if it's easier/possible if you have been rejected and other sides are aware?

dian
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:58 pm
Austria

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by dian »

a year ago I wrote, that Im trying to reestablish a friendship with my LO,
well giving an update:
didnt work, went terribly wrong,
I had always tried to be open and honest, disclosed, told him I only wanted a friendship (a lie to myself,yet I wasnt aware of it )
I told him that there is a vulano inside me, which he touches, but that has nothing to do with him. It belongs to my early childhoodwounds. After several texting, he wrote to me, that he prefers friends from normal families.
I was so badly hurt, I wasnt able to take in his "apology" , that he just didnt know how to take complications out of our relationship.
I said good bye, went NC, thought how ignorant and selfcentered he was/is. (virtues of my father)
In August one last attempt from me, asking him about some other stuff,
he went completely berserk, asking me to be so kind and never ever contacting him again...
NC feels good.
still LE dreaming hasnt ended yet, although Im able to stand aside and watch myself,
( me: female , he: gay, 18 y younger :ymparty: )

AnnieKaye9924
Posts: 311
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:22 pm
Canada

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by AnnieKaye9924 »

Dian, I’m glad you gave an update. I like to read about all kinds of stories. To clarify, you are a heterosexual woman and your LO a homosexual man who is 18 years younger? Such impossible situations our minds get us into!!! I’m sorry he behaved the way he did and that you have been in pain but it is so good you are NC & moving on. I’m not sure your ages but he sounds immature. At least you can use his reactions to move on.

NoDayDreaming

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by NoDayDreaming »

Helpmeplease wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:58 pm
Wonder if it's easier/possible if you have been rejected and other sides are aware?
to update (and i wrote about this in a separate thread):
i contacted another female friend of mine for whom i was never limerent, and she gave me all the attention and support i needed from the real friend. maybe my limerence fooled me into believing the LO was my friend while she is really not, despite what she said.
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dian
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:58 pm
Austria

Re: Sticky: Tips/thoughts on how to be "just friends" with an LO

Post by dian »

Hi, I just wrote a long reply to Annie Kaye and daydreamer, and to all of you, and, with 2 wrong clicks , gone... sad , maybe later, I try again

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