update

A common and understandable desire, can it work?
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Korban
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:43 pm

Re: update

Post by Korban »

I really feel for you and am sending you a virtual hug.

Is it possible he's not actually cutting you off as such but trying to deal with the situation himself and it is your LE that is interpreting his behaviour that way? Or something inbetween...

I suggest this because I have felt the same way with my LO, not that we have had the conversation that you guys have had. Sometimes I feel she is cutting me off and wanting to end the friendship. To some extent she probably is but I now believe it is her way of coping. I've come on way too strong, I've been obsessive and freaked her out. She needs the time to sort it out. Interestingly, I am getting better at not acting on the feelings that she has cut me off and being patient. Eventually, she contacts me. Often it is because she wants something but at this point in time I'm OK with that.

The fact that things seem to be getting better is consistent with what I am seeing too.

I guess what I'm saying is wait it out. Give him some time to sort it out. I know it is difficult - only too well - but in the end you'll either be friends or not and there's nothing you can do to change that. Just prepare yourself for both possibilities.

Sunflower
Posts: 129
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:26 am
Great Britain

Re: update

Post by Sunflower »

Nerdling, the intense thing. I get it completely. It is so addictive when you are just focused on each other but it is also overwhelming. My LO told me I overwhelm him, it is scary. We both used to freak out at times and run and then crave it again. Constant push pull, it's crazy making. I don't think it's healthy or sustainable. I don't know what the answer is but just wanted you to know I understand!!

Korban
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:43 pm

Re: update

Post by Korban »

Nerdling wrote:Korban (love the name btw - is that a Circle ref or some other?)
It's a misspelling of Korben Dallas (The Fifth Element).
Nerdling wrote:I think I have come on far too strong, I'm much too intense and all the way through this crazy "thing" LO and I had
I think that is the nature of the beast.

As I said before I did the same thing. I just hope there is some coming back from it. I am going to give her space and see what happens.

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