Information: Please take a moment and visit your profile to choose a flag.

Starting NC

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
Post Reply
L-F
Posts: 2573
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by L-F » Tue Aug 13, 2019 7:37 am

Hang in there Angel! You are doing something big, and painful and difficult, so look after the most important person. You.
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

User avatar
NoDayDreaming
Posts: 1059
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by NoDayDreaming » Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:59 am

Angel wrote:
Mon Aug 12, 2019 4:36 pm
But still trying to text SO whenever something regarding LO comes to mind, or posting here.
posting here and being active helps big time IMHO.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

User avatar
NoDayDreaming
Posts: 1059
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by NoDayDreaming » Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:01 am

Angel wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:55 am

I feel like I’m slipping into depression, and you warned about that too. Need to do something more proactive about that tomorrow.
yeah, it's possible you might need some short term antidepressant use. we talked about it in a different thread.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

User avatar
NoDayDreaming
Posts: 1059
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by NoDayDreaming » Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:04 am

[...]
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

L-F
Posts: 2573
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by L-F » Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:57 am

daydreamer wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:04 am
Angel wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:55 am
Your first interaction with me almost scared me off of these forums, but I also saw the wisdom and truth of your words.
what? LOL! isn't she the L-D (Lady Directness)?
Now stop that Jack Sprat and work on that shadow of yours =))
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

User avatar
NoDayDreaming
Posts: 1059
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by NoDayDreaming » Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:08 am

[...]
Last edited by NoDayDreaming on Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Angel
Posts: 181
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:52 pm
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by Angel » Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:55 pm

daydreamer wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:01 am
Angel wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:55 am

I feel like I’m slipping into depression, and you warned about that too. Need to do something more proactive about that tomorrow.
yeah, it's possible you might need some short term antidepressant use. we talked about it in a different thread.
Already on meds for maintenance of depression and anxiety issues, so probably a call to my doc to up the meds. I’ve been through this depression thing before, and SO has been there with me. He said those bad episodes were the worst thing that has ever happened in our marriage, not this limerent EA. Too much time on my hands in the summer to ruminate over all this.

So, my proactive steps?
Worked out this morning and I actually have a volunteer work activity set up for this afternoon.
Tomorrow will go hiking with my daughter’s friend and her mom.
Thursday - going to have lunch with my two best friends and then pool party with my family.

I tend to wallow when I am alone and not active. SO knows that and pushes me to make commitments to do stuff.

Angel
Posts: 181
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:52 pm
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by Angel » Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:57 pm

daydreamer wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:08 am
L-F wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:57 am
daydreamer wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:04 am


what? LOL! isn't she the L-D (Lady Directness)?
Now stop that Jack Sprat and work on that shadow of yours =))
how in the earth did you know i was short, LOL?
Holy cow, how did you know _I_ was short?
Nice to have a good laugh while on these forums.

Thanks to the both of you...

User avatar
NoDayDreaming
Posts: 1059
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by NoDayDreaming » Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:37 pm

Angel wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:57 pm
Nice to have a good laugh while on these forums.
good you have a sense of humor, too. looks like you're not too bad.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

Angel
Posts: 181
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:52 pm
United States of America

Re: Starting NC

Post by Angel » Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:28 am

Day 8:

Yesterday, I had tried to do work at my desk and I just kept seeing mementos that LO has given me over the years...most were silly little trinkets, but still painful reminders of what sucked me into limerence in the first place. I threw them away, even though that was so painful to do.

Last night I talked with SO late into the night - about our future and planning for a better marriage. It was the most restful sleep I’ve had in a long, long time. I got up early, worked out and had a pretty awesome start to the day. But there always seems to be something. Remorse over my LE/EA hit me like a brick, and there I was, having a lovely brunch, and crying uncontrollably.

I’m still struggling over a week into NC, and little things tug at my heart and make it ache. A song, a book that I talked to him about, a T-shirt of a place we had visited together. I vacillate between doing fine and falling apart. Keeping busy helps. Spending time with SO and family helps a lot. DDs have been told that mommy is sad but doesn’t want to talk about it, and they’ve been incredibly sweet.

I plan on getting together tomorrow with my two closest friends to tell them - I need some others to hold me accountable for NC. I know it pains my SO who I have been processing all of this with, and I just need more help here.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest