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Day 5 - why can I not stop thinking about it?

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
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Ceridwen
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Day 5 - why can I not stop thinking about it?

Post by Ceridwen » Wed Jul 24, 2019 1:09 am

Today is day 5... I honestly have been able to think of little else other that the millions of things (not nice things either) that I’d like to tell him. I play imagine dialogues in my head... but I now know, since my recent revelation that I’ve been being played by a covert narcissist, none of my words would have any effect on him. He would just turn it around on me anyway.

When does it end? Is there a particular time frame I can look forward to that the withdrawal will ease up? Where he doesn’t invade my every waking thought? Even though I’m so disgusted at myself for ever falling for his bullshit. I’m smarter than that. At least I thought I was...

But I was lonely, he was a distraction. I had very low self esteem, he showered me with compliments. I was such a perfect target. Chubby girl made to feel like Cinderella... and by magic the pounds started shedding. (They’re back now)

I’m just so ready to have my life back, and WANT to be I resent, and ENGAGED with the real people on my life. I’ve bedn in this fog for 10 years. I can’t even remember what it was like to not worry when the next contact black out would erupt out of no where....

Having a tough day today.... if you made it this far, thank you for reading
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" ~ Marilyn Monroe

daydreamer
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Re: Day 5 - why can I not stop thinking about it?

Post by daydreamer » Wed Jul 24, 2019 3:38 am

i keep saying, the first week is the worst in the sense of intensity of the pain. if you can stand a couple of more days, you are done. the next couple of weeks will be empty and you'll think of him a lot too, but it will not be as unbearable as the first. i wish i could hive you my strength of retrospection.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

Helpmeplease
Posts: 630
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:25 pm
Great Britain

Re: Day 5 - why can I not stop thinking about it?

Post by Helpmeplease » Thu Jul 25, 2019 9:52 pm

Amazing on 5 days!

It is superhard but so valuable

I liked to challenge my self daily - can I do NC tomorrow? And focus on small steps.

Thoughts change and frequency reduces but they will linger for a long time, don't focus on that, focus on the daily NC

You will have rough days, something you have to accept sorry :(

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