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No contact during family holidays

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
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Bettyboo
Posts: 101
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:24 pm
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Great Britain

No contact during family holidays

Post by Bettyboo » Sun Jul 21, 2019 8:47 am

I wondered if anyone had any experiences of getting through the times when your LO is on holiday with family.

His holiday is first followed by mine. I’m already feeling anxious thinking about all the fun he’ll be having, possibly all the sex (can’t believe I’m admitting that - sorry)! It’s just I can feel these emotions spiralling and I don’t know how to handle them.

He’ll want to carry on texting, I know that - albeit less frequently.

Should I suggest NC during our holidays? Or just play it cool?

I feel that I’ve had a much better handle on things lately and I don’t want to risk undoing all my hard work.
Hope someone can help - thanks.

daydreamer
Posts: 961
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
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United States of America

Re: No contact during family holidays

Post by daydreamer » Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:56 pm

i had that over a year ago. the LO was gone trekking the mountains and unavailable for 2 weeks. i was sick from longing. i wrote letters and kept for myself and it helped (this is the same things i did during NC). eventually she send me a picture of her and her family and friends and that was very rewarding. well, addictions are hard.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

Hopeless Lomantic
Posts: 209
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:48 pm
Somalia

Re: No contact during family holidays

Post by Hopeless Lomantic » Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:01 pm

Bettyboo wrote:
Sun Jul 21, 2019 8:47 am
I wondered if anyone had any experiences of getting through the times when your LO is on holiday with family.

His holiday is first followed by mine. I’m already feeling anxious thinking about all the fun he’ll be having, possibly all the sex (can’t believe I’m admitting that - sorry)! It’s just I can feel these emotions spiralling and I don’t know how to handle them.

He’ll want to carry on texting, I know that - albeit less frequently.

Should I suggest NC during our holidays? Or just play it cool?

I feel that I’ve had a much better handle on things lately and I don’t want to risk undoing all my hard work.
Hope someone can help - thanks.
Hi Betty, sounds like a mutual limerent case.. or prob an EA? I had my fair share of such anxiety before and throughout both our respective family holidays we stil keep in contact with a reduced tempo.

It kind of add fuel to the LE and it's not advisable if you are trying to move away from LO and from your writing, I doubt this is the case now.. u r more worried about the forced NC than the LE itself..

I can only say perhaps this is a good opportunity to give yourselves some space and do not expect any contact to come so you won't be too preoccupied with when will u hear from him.. and do not initiate if u can help it.

Bettyboo
Posts: 101
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:24 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: No contact during family holidays

Post by Bettyboo » Sun Jul 21, 2019 5:07 pm

Thanks both! I am going to try to keep busy and definitely not initiate. The pain of waiting for a reply is worse than the pain of not hearing from him.
Thing is he doesn’t seem to enjoy his holidays- last year he cane back and seemed to complain about the whole thing, he was too hot, bored in the pool and was ill!

I’m not sure if it’s mutual limerence.. it was to begin with but now I’m not sure. He doesn’t seem to be able to stop this whole thing any more than I can, out texts are like those between two partners- not sexual but definitely not a normal friendship. It’s so hard to explain.

Hopeless Lomantic
Posts: 209
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2019 5:48 pm
Somalia

Re: No contact during family holidays

Post by Hopeless Lomantic » Sun Jul 21, 2019 5:25 pm

I get it...I am in a strange predicament myself.. not enjoying the holidays can also be the fact that he is at the height of limerence where everything else doesnt giv u the same high as the LO.

In any case, good to adopt a wait and see attitude.. sometimes these breaks allow your mind to function more normally and assess what is it that you really want or how to move on from here..

The sex part is an interesting one.. I refused to imagine ( just in plain denial) that my LO and her SO are doing it.. whether on holidays or otherwise..

Bettyboo
Posts: 101
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:24 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: No contact during family holidays

Post by Bettyboo » Sun Jul 21, 2019 5:32 pm

I do sometimes get the vibes that he feels the same as me - but during an argument, when I suggested that he told me that was “rubbish!”

As for the sex - I guess you imagine most people do it more on hols for obvious reasons. I have no right to be jealous but the thought of it is just awful.

Bettyboo
Posts: 101
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:24 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: No contact during family holidays

Post by Bettyboo » Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:00 pm

Well, I’ve asked him if he wants to stop texting while we’re both away and he said he doesn’t. It feels weird, if he saw me as a friend why would he feel the need to text me daily. 80% of our contact is initiated by him.

I feel as though he’s limerent too, but why won’t he admit his feelings?

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