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LC/NC Thread

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
Pattihopeful
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LC/NC Thread

Post by Pattihopeful » Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:04 am

I am starting a thread for those of us who are going low or no contact. My hope is we can encourage and support each other and post how its going.

daydreamer
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by daydreamer » Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:15 am

Patti, what would you like to know? fire away.
i can tell you, from my experience, LC sucks, NC rocks. while in NC you are in control of the communication. in LC, it's the opposite, the communication controls you. LC promotes addiction. NC cures addiction.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

ReeledIn
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by ReeledIn » Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:40 am

daydreamer wrote:
Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:15 am
Patti, what would you like to know? fire away.
i can tell you, from my experience, LC sucks, NC rocks. while in NC you are in control of the communication. in LC, it's the opposite, the communication controls you. LC promotes addiction. NC cures addiction.
Love this! I go from medium LC to ultra low LC starting Aug 1 when I leave current job. Unless LO attempts to contact me, it will be virtually NC. (We could easily run in to each other in the cafeteria or something but I can easily avoid that if I am strong!)
F, 48
LO M, 55, single coworker
LE began June 2016 | became EA/PA until 6/18/2017
Disclosed all and reconciled with SO

For my story if interested:
http://limerence.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3738

Bettyboo
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by Bettyboo » Thu Jul 18, 2019 8:33 am

I’m about to go low contact because he’s going on holiday with his family. Don’t know why it hurts so much - it’s the third year of our friendship so I’ve managed it before but it hurts so much and I’m already feeling very anxious.

I’m thinking of asking my gp for something to help me get through the anxious times.. has anyone else ever done this? Would it work? Something to take the edge off the pain and anxiety.

It sounds extreme but the feelings I have are extreme and have a massive effect on me some days.

I completely agree that NC feels better than low contact and I’ve thought maybe we should agree to go NC when he’s away. At least I’d have some control and wouldn’t be waiting for contact.

I hope you’re feeling ok today Patti? After my disclosure I felt devastated for days, then this weird numbness came over me. I hope you’re coping.

Pattihopeful
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by Pattihopeful » Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:11 pm

DD, I like what you said about being in control of communication. Since for right now I am committed to this job, I can't be NC. But, I don't need to comminicate near as much as I think I did. In fact, I have several weeks coming up where I can just do almost NC.

RI and Betty we have this. We are on a dead end road. Yes the anxiety is horrible. I get gripped with thoughts of "You will never be with him, its over, he doesn't care, how are you going to make it." Not fun. Then I tell myself how he called me crazy, he is not good for me, he will destroy me etc.. I know people on here have taken meds. Maybe start a new thread and I am sure they will chime in. Today is a new day!!

Helpmeplease
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by Helpmeplease » Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:28 pm

Being in control of communication is key. I have given it to LO now and it hurts. 'why doesn't she answer!!'

Can't tell if we are in NC as she could reply any time, I am waiting for lunch yes/no.

Bettyboo
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by Bettyboo » Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:37 pm

I’ve noticed my LO will often withhold responses so that he has the power and he can decide when the texts start again.

He also does it as a way to start an argument. If he doesn’t like something I’ve said or doesn’t want to respond to a question he’ll just go silent.

BobSmith
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by BobSmith » Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:25 pm

I've been NC since 1st March now, but some days I get an all consuming urge to text her. I could probably arrange to go for a drink as we haven't left it on bad terms, but then I always think what good would it do? Coming on here helps in moments of weakness too....

Helpmeplease
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by Helpmeplease » Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:52 pm

Agreed Bob. I have a very strong urge to text and it's very hard to not do it. Like a war of attrition.

Pattihopeful
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Re: LC/NC Thread

Post by Pattihopeful » Thu Jul 18, 2019 5:57 pm

It is a craving that will never be satisfied. Lets not give away our power to someone else. I was just on work email and I had a strong urge to reach out. Nope. I walked away and came here. Contacting him will be like going to a dry well to get water because I am thirsty. It will never satisfy. We have got this!!

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