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I am going to try not contacting LO this week

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
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Pattihopeful
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I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Pattihopeful » Mon May 20, 2019 12:10 pm

Ok, so the school year is rapidly winding down. Last week I did some emailing, but no phone calls. Still, I hate when I am often the first to initiate emails, calls, etc. So, I think I need to stop that. Today is day one. I am dreading it and sad, but for my personal dignity and integrity, I need to stop. I also need to respect his bohndaries. I am going to start a journal on here for accountability including the good, bad and the ugly.

marko
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by marko » Mon May 20, 2019 3:27 pm

My LO was a school co worker and we talked a lot. Nearing two years since it ended here. She wants me to work at her new place but I can maintain nc and think I should stay away. I still won't wear the sweatshirt of mine she wore nor throw away the dilly bar wrapper from our last day. Hanging on and not letting go will always be part of the LE experience. I know the last week was hell but it did prepare for LC and when fall came and she started the new job it helped a bit. Her pic still hangs on the school wall, so she's never leaves. Compared to 2 years ago, I'm doing very well. Good luck this week.

daydreamer
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by daydreamer » Mon May 20, 2019 3:43 pm

Patti, stay strong and plan some awesome distractions. don't be left alone with your thoughts in the first week or 2.
Marco, are you a teacher too? looks like every other person here is a teacher or works in a school. i teach some in college, but not full time.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

Pattihopeful
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Pattihopeful » Mon May 20, 2019 5:13 pm

Marko thanks for sharing. I can relate. Always reminders. Reminds me of the song Photograph by Ringo Starr. Ugh! Thanks DD. Yes it will be hard and guess who emailed me twice this morning? Its ok because my goal is to not initiate. He wants help on something, thanked me for help, and then said we should get in touch soon. The other email was passing information on to me. I am going to take longer than normal to respond. Yes what is it about schools???

Helpmeplease
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Helpmeplease » Mon May 20, 2019 6:16 pm

You can do it PH!

Pattihopeful
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Pattihopeful » Tue May 21, 2019 2:12 am

Thanks, HMP. I was attending his online class every day and that ended abruptly for me today because there are no more lectures, just workdays. I was counting on at least through this week but no. I didn't realize how much connection it gave me to him.

I messaged him and asked if it would be a good time to say goodbye to this class. He said yes just work days from now on. He thanked me for all I contributed, the feedback and helping him believe it was useful. It was nice but crushed me. We work so well together. Stupid limerance. I just want to be forever friends. I coud deal with that but my disclosure ruined it and my stupid dependance on him.
Last edited by Pattihopeful on Tue May 21, 2019 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yesnomaybeso
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Yesnomaybeso » Tue May 21, 2019 2:25 am

You will reap the benefits. What helped me at the start was using a habit tracker app. So each day I’d manually cross of a day of NC. It makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something.

Pattihopeful
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Pattihopeful » Tue May 21, 2019 12:08 pm

I like the idea of a habit tracker. Thank you!

marko
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by marko » Tue May 21, 2019 3:40 pm

Pattihopeful wrote:
Mon May 20, 2019 5:13 pm
Marko thanks for sharing. I can relate. Always reminders. Reminds me of the song Photograph by Ringo Starr. Ugh! Thanks DD. Yes it will be hard and guess who emailed me twice this morning? Its ok because my goal is to not initiate. He wants help on something, thanked me for help, and then said we should get in touch soon. The other email was passing information on to me. I am going to take longer than normal to respond. Yes what is it about schools???
It felt a bit like a 6th grade crush and I had the hottest in school, finally the cool kid.

Pattihopeful
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Re: I am going to try not contacting LO this week

Post by Pattihopeful » Wed May 22, 2019 1:12 pm

Yes, Marko!

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