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Starting the NC Process

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
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imperator1453
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Starting the NC Process

Post by imperator1453 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:51 pm

How did you approach the concept of NC with the LO? Did you simply stop texting/calling out of the blue? Put another way, how do you do this while in a relationship with the LO?

daydreamer
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Re: Starting the NC Process

Post by daydreamer » Thu Nov 08, 2018 5:12 pm

i did by writing a final goodbye letter, asked for NC. i removed her from my contact lists to decrease any chance of temptation. She is not doing any social media or otherwise, I would have to close mine.
Mind you, this is shortly post disclosure and rejection by the LO and she actually proposed NC, so it's mutual and should be successful.
We live in different countries, so we shouldn't run into each other.

the good thing is, as I wrote in another post, when my mind comes back to think about her, I fondly remember the final goodbye letter and I understand it well it's closed door/burned bridge/final closure and it's very powerful and symbolic.

IMHO, just stopping contact without explanation is not final (no closure) if not just rude.

edit: this worked for me, but you will see, there will be a difference of opinion, as not everyone believes in disclosure here.
Last edited by daydreamer on Thu Nov 22, 2018 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

imperator1453
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Re: Starting the NC Process

Post by imperator1453 » Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:02 pm

Thank you for the response.

In my situation, the LO accepted the proposal and there has been a PA. Any advice relative to that>?

MetsFan
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Re: Starting the NC Process

Post by MetsFan » Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:33 pm

My own plan FWIW, is to do a staged withdrawal. My LO will stop working for me in a few weeks and leave the company so I have the opportunity I’ve needed. I’m helping her with her next career move currently but once that is sorted I’m going to stop initiating contact. I suspect she’ll contact me from time to time and I’ll respond but take longer to each time and be less conversational / more formal each time. Hopefully she gets the message and will think we’ve just drifted apart.

I’ve debated the disclosure route, particularly after my SO told me to cut LO out of my life (she doesn’t know the extent of my feelings towards LO only that she’s significant). I thought I could use that as a partial disclosure / excuse to go NC. But generally the advice is anti disclosure with Limerence.

daydreamer
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Re: Starting the NC Process

Post by daydreamer » Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:00 pm

imperator1453 wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:02 pm
In my situation, the LO accepted the proposal and there has been a PA. Any advice relative to that>?
no personal experience with that. are you sure this falls under limerence in the first place?
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, the LE was about the best thing that happened in my life.

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