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"And life has a funny way of helping you out"

A tough thing to do - the pros and cons
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MrSpock
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"And life has a funny way of helping you out"

Post by MrSpock » Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:44 am

And isn't it ironic...

A couple of weeks ago I posted that had decided to drop the Taekwon-do class that I share with LO so I can go NC. That class is from 7-8 pm, but I have another class from 8-9 pm, and I was going to both, so I could just skip the first turn and show up at 8 pm for the second class.
I did, but it was tricky and cumbersome. My two kids go to the first class, and I wouldn't take them off as well, since is not their fault. So what I did, was to drop them off at 7 pm, hide behind a tree until 8 pm, waited to see her leave, and then get in for the second class B-) . OK may not behind a tree, but it felt like it. /:)

However, I never saw her leaving because she was not going at all, That very same last class we shared, she hurt her knee so she was not going. I knew that, but imagined she could show up at any moment.

Well, my instructor, whom I had to tell what was happening, told me today that she is not coming back because she hurt badly and needed surgery. At the very least for the rest of the year!
Considering how I feel for her, it sucks so much that she is going through this and I can't even talk to her, but on the other hand, "All is fair in Love and War".
She dropping the class for real was exactly what needed to happen. I won't have to hide behind the tree any more :)

Maddie
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Re: "And life has a funny way of helping you out"

Post by Maddie » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:39 am

Oh my! Sounds a lot like my scenario. the store he worked at where I met him said they were bankrupt, and sent everyone home . I found this out Feb 24 and I haven't talked to him since...it was so odd when I found out. A 50/50 mixture of sorrow and relief. I am still struggling, of course, to accept the obvious. That my fantasies were just that. :-(
But....on the other hand, I felt like my obsessions and compulsions about him were ruining my psychological and physical health. So, thankfully it's not that bad anymore. And I did wake up to my life since all of this!
It's awesome that you summoned the strength to drop the class in the first place!! I was wondering how that was all going...
Btw, I love that Morrisette song. Great title to your post....

"like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife....isnt it ironic?"
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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LisaTranscending
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Re: "And life has a funny way of helping you out"

Post by LisaTranscending » Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:57 am

http://www.drmarlo.com/?page_id=181


the link is to a story that always arises when stuff like this happens. the irony can turn into further irony.
maybe so...maybe not.

but....it seems like an interesting turn of events.

MrSpock
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Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
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Re: "And life has a funny way of helping you out"

Post by MrSpock » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:36 pm

Maddie wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:39 am
Oh my! Sounds a lot like my scenario. the store he worked at where I met him said they were bankrupt, and sent everyone home . I found this out Feb 24 and I haven't talked to him since...it was so odd when I found out. A 50/50 mixture of sorrow and relief. I am still struggling, of course, to accept the obvious. That my fantasies were just that. :-(
It's such a struggle! For instance I spent all weekend depressed and in bed. Knowing that I will never see her again and missing being with her and the small talking so much.
Even though I tried, and somewhat succeeded, to avoid thinking about her every damn second, I felt like there was noting I wanted to do (except being with her of course).

My wife just happens to have a health problem now so she had to be in bed too, which made for the perfect excuse (and my kids are old enough to run around the house unsupervised)

[And don't ask me how it feels to have my SO sick in bed and me wanting to be with somebody else... I guess just seeing me like that adds to the depression]
Maddie wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:39 am
But....on the other hand, I felt like my obsessions and compulsions about him were ruining my psychological and physical health. So, thankfully it's not that bad anymore. And I did wake up to my life since all of this!
Absolutely! If I could just fast-forward to the day this is all gone...
Maddie wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:39 am
It's awesome that you summoned the strength to drop the class in the first place!! I was wondering how that was all going...
I don't want to sound like I'm something else, but I really got the strength thinking about what was I doing to her. In this equation, I'm the unavailable married man and she's just a girl.

The day I decided that, I woke up feeling really worried from thinking that she seemed to be falling for me. I posted about that here earlier that week. So I took about an hour in the morning (I work home and alone so I can do that whenever I need) to do a sort of "guided mediation" in order to figure out how to get her to stop thinking about me. I came out empty, with no ideas. But then, when I saw the way she looked and talked to me in that last class, I knew exactly what I needed to do (even though I discussed here in a post how I could not drop the class). It was as if I actually got that intuition in the morning but wouldn't want to listen to it, until I saw her and became like a loud message.


Maddie wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:39 am
Btw, I love that Morrisette song. Great title to your post....

"like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife....isnt it ironic?"
That line always gets me :)

MrSpock
Posts: 848
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
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Age: 48
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Re: "And life has a funny way of helping you out"

Post by MrSpock » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:38 pm

LisaTranscending wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 2:57 am
http://www.drmarlo.com/?page_id=181


the link is to a story that always arises when stuff like this happens. the irony can turn into further irony.
maybe so...maybe not.

but....it seems like an interesting turn of events.
Oh, interestingly, my wife was reading that exact tale a few days ago (from a FB post). Is a good tale. And is so true.

Maddie
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Re: "And life has a funny way of helping you out"

Post by Maddie » Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:33 pm

Well this weekend, I messed up . not bad, but still...I went to his FB page and liked a post that his wife posted and tagged him in it. Oh well. I noticed 3 things after that. #1 great family pic , LO /#2 He probably will never ever seek me out or even "like " a post of mine/#3 I am soooooo over this BS!
I know it all sounds silly, but y'all get it! Anyway, I have actually been doing very well staying off social media. Strongly considering deactivating account. Times like these, I wonder where self control goes and it worries me slightly.
39, F
LO, 50 , M
Mental health is an ongoing commitment to reality at all costs-- (M Scott Peck)

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