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I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

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Anonymous007
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2018 12:49 am
United States of America

I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

Post by Anonymous007 » Sat Apr 21, 2018 1:13 am

I'm a guy and I'm 20-years-old and the girl I love is about my age 20-23 year-old. So I work at a call center, it's a four story building with many different projects in there. Bank of America, U.S. Bank, Marlette Funding, Cox, At&t, OptumRx, Waste Management, etc. I work on the first floor, and at my project there are two branches, one for taking inbound calls and the other for making outbound calls way across the hall on the opposite sides of the building, I'm in the inbound branch and she is in the outbound branch. We both have the same schedule from 8:00AM to 4:00PM so our two breaks and lunch line up at the same time, first break being in the hour of 10:00AM, lunch being in the hour of 12:00PM, and last break being in the hour of 2:00PM.

So the only time I really get to see her is during breaks when we go up to the second floor break room, well being the coward that I am I never had guts to ask her out but rather just sat next to her in the break room like a stupid a-hole lol, a few days ago I went and this time it was just me and her alone and she was staring outside the window and I sat on the table next to her and she told me "Are you following me?" to which I smiled and replied "Nope, how am I following you?" And then she smiled and said "Because I see you everywhere I go."

And then she asked me "Do you eat lunch" to which I replied "No, I eat a small breakfast, and a big dinner, and I jog two miles every other day so..." (I'm skinny so she was suprised that I could eat big dinners without getting fat but I have good metabolism, and she herself is fit to the slim side) then she said " I couldn't do that because I would get fat" then we both giggled a little bit and then she left. It's been two days and I haven't seen her in the break room anymore. I'm going crazy because I should have just told her the truth that I was following and found something interesting to talk about like her name which I find beautiful, confirming it with her that I'm interested her and I like her, she obviously knows that I like her but I want to talk to her again so this time I can try sealing the deal, I was thinking of just admitting that I was following her the next time I see her to get the conversation going as she already knows that but I denied it like a coward.

She is the girl of my dreams, I have never felt like this with any other girl before, I NEVER want to have kids or care about getting married, but I love her so much and I'm so infatuated with her that I fantasize about us getting married, possibly having kids, starting a family, and us growing old together in harmony. I seriously want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her and take care of her, cherish her, protect her etc.

Please help me, she is the girl of my dreams and I want her so bad! I want to win her heart, I want her to be mine and I want to be hers! Please help me in my time of despair!

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

Post by JupiterTaco » Sat Apr 21, 2018 2:52 am

I suppose a good place to start would be to ask yourself where this feeling comes from? This massive feeling of need. Where does it originate? Where do you feel it the most in your body? Then try to figure out why you feel like you need someone you barely know so bad? Many of us have been there, this place has a lot of information. Welcome!
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

Anonymous007
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2018 12:49 am
United States of America

Re: I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

Post by Anonymous007 » Sat Apr 21, 2018 3:13 am

I don't know. I just feel like she would just be my perfect companion. Right now I keep beating myself up for being dumb cowardly asshole by not admitting it or asking her out of the several interactions I've had with her. But I'm going for it next time. I'm not even attracted to any other girls right now.

I can't let my dreams be dreams!

Anonymous007
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2018 12:49 am
United States of America

Re: I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

Post by Anonymous007 » Sat Apr 21, 2018 4:04 am

I also think about giving up my "womanizing" habits if you will because I see a lot middle aged men and older men who don't have wives and I fear and dread that the most so I feel like I must act quickly before I become one of those lonely sad middle aged men who will die alone. I'm afraid to die alone and I feel that she's perfect to spend the rest of my life with.

L-F
Posts: 1831
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

Post by L-F » Sat Apr 21, 2018 4:24 am

Anonymous007 wrote: ↑
Sat Apr 21, 2018 4:04 am
I also think about giving up my "womanizing" habits if you will because I see a lot middle aged men and older men who don't have wives and I fear and dread that the most so I feel like I must act quickly before I become one of those lonely sad middle aged men who will die alone. I'm afraid to die alone and I feel that she's perfect to spend the rest of my life with.
I'd say there are plenty of married middle aged men who wish they could leave their wives but stay because of the kids. The more you read stories on here the more you realise that getting married is not always what its cracked up to be. Thats because most of us pair bonded whilst broken, and that's why we ended up on this forum.

If you do the heavy lifting now, you'll have a higher chance of living happy ever after with another person. The fact you are experiencing limerence highlights that there is heavy lifting required.

JT has asked some really important questions to help you to identify exactly how and where to start with the heavy lifting. I hope you stick around to learn as much as possible.

Heavy lifting (which requires opening yourself up and looking at your past in order to heal past wounds), will eventually lead you to finding healthy love.
A first date question: "how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and tell me how you are actively working to heal them before you project that shit on me?"

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: I'm in love with this girl at work. PLEASE HELP!

Post by JupiterTaco » Sat Apr 21, 2018 5:02 am

Anonymous007 wrote: ↑
Sat Apr 21, 2018 4:04 am
I also think about giving up my "womanizing" habits if you will because I see a lot middle aged men and older men who don't have wives and I fear and dread that the most so I feel like I must act quickly before I become one of those lonely sad middle aged men who will die alone. I'm afraid to die alone and I feel that she's perfect to spend the rest of my life with.
I know somebody who says the same thing you do and he's in a relationship. Yet does he stop? No! He wants to, definitely. But you and he don't see that it's not enough for you to want to stop for the person you're in a relationship with. You have to want to do it for yourself. And start by answering what it is you get out of womanizing behaviors.
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

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