too obvious to disclose

Does disclosure to our Limerent/Love Object help?
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townshend
Posts: 294
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:19 am

too obvious to disclose

Post by townshend » Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:11 am

Today Im feeling like despite any desire to disclose, I don't have to because I'm sure it's obvious. I don't ever want to tell him the extent of this, I'd always planned on keeping it simple and vague, lying to save face on something I'd never need to confess to in the first place. Just as everything in LE I've yo-yo'ed between what I think he thinks... sometimes it feels so obvious he'd be stupid not to know, other times from the way I act ignoring him and trying to mask everything and all, I think probably not.

Now I'm thinking yeah, he knows. Who wouldn't. He couldn't know the extent really, maybe he knew and months and months down the road figured I was a semi normal person and got past it. Regardless. I've disclosed with every sorry excuse (sometimes excessive) to see or talk to him, everytime I'd flush red or talked to him or didn't or laughed at everyyyyyy joke. literally everything points to I like you..a lot!!

How couldn't he.

x_x

:-??
No good has ever come from feeling guilty neither intelligence, policy, nor compassion. The guilty do not pay attention to the object but only to themselves and not even to their own interests, which might make sense, but to their anxieties. -Paul Goodman

french girl
Posts: 47
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:48 pm

Re: too obvious to disclose

Post by french girl » Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:57 pm

I was in the same situation : I did my best to hide the limerence, but at the same time, I jumped on every occasion to see LO, talk to him...
So my LO has been aware for at least a year that I have a crush on him.
But as it's been more than three years that I'm limerent over LO, I think he was aware long before that... I can't be sure and I never asked... Anyway, people can't realize how serious your condition is, unless you do really silly things, like mild stalking...
They may know you have a crush, but they don't realize it's deep limerence if you keep it professional.
(I'm not sure I kept it professional, sadly :-q )
I think several coworkers (everyone ?) are aware I have a crush on LO as well... x_x

Concerning your LO in particular, I was just wondering : as you're a lot younger than him, maybe he doesn't realize you have a crush on him.
But anyway, older men generally doesn't seem to doubt much that they're able to attract young women... :ymcowboy:
And it doesn't mean you should help him to realize what you feel about him (the choice is yours, anyway).
In my case, I didn't disclose, I've been given away involuntarily by my own silly behaviour... :D
« Love is giving something you don't have to someone who doesn't want it. » Jacques Lacan

Heart_Open
Posts: 640
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: too obvious to disclose

Post by Heart_Open » Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:26 pm

I remember at work one evening we shared our usual laugh joke and flirtatious banter and I texted my friend 'boys are so stupid sometimes' (no offence guys on here!). This was referring to how the hell could he not know? By this time I was wearing my heart and adoration for him on my face in neon facepaint. How could he not know??
Dunno. Maybe he did but was too polite to tell me to sod off.

L-F
Posts: 1291
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am

Re: too obvious to disclose

Post by L-F » Tue Jul 18, 2017 7:47 pm

There is a good thread on disclosure - whether it's good to or not.

I believe we give our little secret away anyway. Just think of all the nonverbal clues that are picked up - like the ones we limerents pick up on. But who's going to be brave enough to question it? Besides there is always denial regardless of being caught in a mutual attraction.

Some limerents think that attraction equates to action. It doesn't. There is nothing wrong with LO being attracted to the LS, because they don't need to act on it. Non-limerent people can find themselves attracted to others and think nothing of it. I would call that healthy attraction.

I was giggling at french girls post because I could have written it. Been there, got the t-shirt :D Lordy knows I've made a complete fool of myself many times... but hey, I got over it and now my t-shirt says 'limerent survivor... slayer of all things embarrassing'
"The day we take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to us and stop playing the victim, we feel a much lighter load" David

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