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Help-My LO neighbor stalked SO

For those married or in a Long Term Relationship and struggling with limerence.
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cheena
Posts: 77
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:32 am

Help-My LO neighbor stalked SO

Post by cheena » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:00 am

Hi!

juz wanted to share an update here - As I am in the midst of doing the heavy lifting and going LC with LO neighbor, I would say I have partially succeeded in curtailing my feelings for my LO and the thought process has changed slightly by using therapy, distance and distraction. I have also been working on improving my emotional and physical connection with my SO after having disclosed to SO all about my limerence, my LO chasing me relentlessly for the past three years, me feeling flattered and wanting to give in but not doing so as I love SO etc. Ofcourse, I didnt share with SO the depth of my limerence and the impact it has had on my daily life consuming me all together and how I have been fighting it internally. I thought it would make my SO feel insecure and so I restrained from sharing too much.

However, two weeks back, I happen to run into my LO in the lift. As I was returning from post-dinner ritual, short walk with my SO, we bumped into LO as we shared the lift late at night. To my surprise, my SO gave a cold shoulder to him and ignored him completely thinking that it was another of his usual stalking attempt. Usually he used to juz say hi to him for courtesy sake being neighbors.
What happened next shook me and my SO to some extent. couple of days later, my daughter shared with me a text message which she had got on the same night from my LO's daughter..she wrote..hey my dad met your dad in the lift and your dad completely ignored my dad..is your dad angry with my dad? I daughter just replied "I dont know" and shrugged it off casually. As if this was not enough, my LO last week bumped into my SO late at night when he was returning from a nearby supermarket after buying some urgent grocery items. LO was jogging at that time in the opposite direction and as he ran into SO, he waved hello sir, good evening..forcing my SO to respond and say hi to him. When my SO told me about it next day, I started to feel a bit scared as I knew that LO intentionally ran into SO that night. More so bcoz I am the victim of his stalking skills for the past couple of years.He never jogs outside our residential area..near the market and never at night too. So what got him to stalk my SO so late in the night that too jogging.
My SO is visibly shaken after that and has trouble having a good night sleep. Although he is not expressing his fears, I can feel it as he looks disturbed. We both have been working on our relationship more now and practising mindfulness too. we are the avoidant-anxious pair married for 21 years now and have our own attachment issues with each other. We enter into a cold war regularly when we face a conflict and then re-connect after a week or so..now we are trying to work on this unhealthy pattern and are working actively towards healing, if possible.

What do you think LO is upto ? when he stalks my SO

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Help-My LO neighbor stalked SO

Post by JupiterTaco » Tue Apr 17, 2018 11:55 am

I hate to say it but that's up to you to figure out. It could be harmless or it could be more. I'd just keep vigilant about the situation. I wish I could help more!
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

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