So confused

For those married or in a Long Term Relationship and struggling with limerence.
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Confused17
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun May 14, 2017 3:46 pm

So confused

Post by Confused17 » Sun May 14, 2017 4:16 pm

I am new in here and this is a term I just learned. I am wondering if my situation falls in this category. I am super confused. I have been married about 5 years but together even longer. Things have been bad for awhile. Borderline abusive and I have been considering leaving for awhile yet haven't made a move. I reached out to a friend awhile back just to talk and for advice. Nothing more but found out he also was going through a challenging time in his marriage. We have known each other for a long time. We started talking regularly and developed feelings. We have never acted on them. We haven't even spent time together. We just talk all the time and have expressed feelings for each other. I do not plan to leave my marriage for him although I think we would be very happy together. If I leave it's due to issues we have had for awhile. He is also married and can not leave. We also live very far away from each other. Does this fall into this category or do I have feelings because I am getting what I need and don't get at home. I do think about him a lot. I know he does too. This whole thing is just very confusing. Need advice. Thanks.

marko
Posts: 428
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm

Re: So confused

Post by marko » Mon May 15, 2017 12:30 am

I think if you escape to the idea, this builds a pattern that can get worse. The escape releases good feelings and you may enter la la land and build a fake reality with someone who really can't help. For you i'd really get a handle on the abuse and those issues, as you may have a normal reaction to your bad situation. We all have some serious issues here and are here for you. This can be hard so post away and get rid of what you can here. Confusion reins here, welcome.

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