BECOME A MEMBER AND EMBRACE EXCLUSIVE ACCESS
Unlock exclusive features and connect with like-minded individuals by upgrading to our premium membership.
As a member, you'll gain access to our members-only forums, where you can:
Engage in meaningful discussions: Read, create, and search all threads and posts, fostering a vibrant community of like-minded individuals.
Establish deeper connections: Utilize our private messaging system to connect with other members on a personal level, fostering meaningful relationships.
Enjoy these benefits and more for just $2.99 per month, payable securely via PayPal.
Membership is flexible, allowing you to cancel anytime without any hassle.
Sign up today and embark on a journey of personal growth and connection. Join our community of passionate individuals and unlock a world of possibilities.
Click https://limerence.net/membership-accoun ... p-checkout
Unlock exclusive features and connect with like-minded individuals by upgrading to our premium membership.
As a member, you'll gain access to our members-only forums, where you can:
Engage in meaningful discussions: Read, create, and search all threads and posts, fostering a vibrant community of like-minded individuals.
Establish deeper connections: Utilize our private messaging system to connect with other members on a personal level, fostering meaningful relationships.
Enjoy these benefits and more for just $2.99 per month, payable securely via PayPal.
Membership is flexible, allowing you to cancel anytime without any hassle.
Sign up today and embark on a journey of personal growth and connection. Join our community of passionate individuals and unlock a world of possibilities.
Click https://limerence.net/membership-accoun ... p-checkout
I Made a Mistake!
I Made a Mistake!
I hope someone can offer me some advice.
I feel I made a terrible mistake by going LC with my LO. I was trying my best to get some distance as the whole sorry thing was going nowhere. If I'm truthful I was hoping he would miss me and feel my loss - which he did initially, really trying hard to get me back and get my attention again and have me turn up at our meet ups again (coffee meetups occasionally with friends). Initially, I felt powerful and pleased with myself that he wanted me back and it gave me courage to continue LC. Then he seemed to become very angry with me, as though he had done nothing wrong and he was being punished unjustly. I know he feels I was cruel to him and he's been hurt so much in the past, and this is his way of dealing with it. He has gone, not cold, but indifferent which all of you reading will know is the worst possible outcome for a limerent person. We know we sit in LO's company, always waiting for that little bit of attention which will give us our hit for the day and make us feel loved. Now instead of freeing myself up because of LC, I've made him indifferent to me! I'm in terrible pain as I want his attention back and would do anything to have it back the way it was when he wanted my company, started showing off as soon as I arrived, watched me from across the room, laughed too loudly at my jokes, lit up when he heard my voice - you all know the drill. I used to catch him checking me out when I'd walk away from him, or across the room, but now I see him turn away. I know he's decided something like "keep your ass to yourself, I know you're just trying to dangle a carrot in front of me and I'm not biting, you wouldn't come back". I've become terribly self conscious though I'm doing nothing except existing. I even feel that I should stop wearing anything tight or sexy as I will only annoy him. He's blaming me for any attraction he had to me. In other words, he's turned around his feelings and I'm the bad one. I've never done anything but like him. I went LC to try to get a grip on my feelings, not to hurt him (though I hoped he'd miss me and want me more). We never speak, can't because we're never alone, but I know the man and I'm convinced I know what he's thinking. I guess I've fallen from my pedestal and I didn't realise that would happen.
I'm wailing inside "he doesn't love me any more". I thought that was what I wanted but it's not. It's not.
I have freed him and re-imprisioned myself! What did I do? Can I undo it somehow?
I cannot go NC which might fix things but it's torture being in his company now knowing he doesn't care for me anymore. And he's not putting it on, I know he's not.
Can anyone offer any advice to me.
I feel I made a terrible mistake by going LC with my LO. I was trying my best to get some distance as the whole sorry thing was going nowhere. If I'm truthful I was hoping he would miss me and feel my loss - which he did initially, really trying hard to get me back and get my attention again and have me turn up at our meet ups again (coffee meetups occasionally with friends). Initially, I felt powerful and pleased with myself that he wanted me back and it gave me courage to continue LC. Then he seemed to become very angry with me, as though he had done nothing wrong and he was being punished unjustly. I know he feels I was cruel to him and he's been hurt so much in the past, and this is his way of dealing with it. He has gone, not cold, but indifferent which all of you reading will know is the worst possible outcome for a limerent person. We know we sit in LO's company, always waiting for that little bit of attention which will give us our hit for the day and make us feel loved. Now instead of freeing myself up because of LC, I've made him indifferent to me! I'm in terrible pain as I want his attention back and would do anything to have it back the way it was when he wanted my company, started showing off as soon as I arrived, watched me from across the room, laughed too loudly at my jokes, lit up when he heard my voice - you all know the drill. I used to catch him checking me out when I'd walk away from him, or across the room, but now I see him turn away. I know he's decided something like "keep your ass to yourself, I know you're just trying to dangle a carrot in front of me and I'm not biting, you wouldn't come back". I've become terribly self conscious though I'm doing nothing except existing. I even feel that I should stop wearing anything tight or sexy as I will only annoy him. He's blaming me for any attraction he had to me. In other words, he's turned around his feelings and I'm the bad one. I've never done anything but like him. I went LC to try to get a grip on my feelings, not to hurt him (though I hoped he'd miss me and want me more). We never speak, can't because we're never alone, but I know the man and I'm convinced I know what he's thinking. I guess I've fallen from my pedestal and I didn't realise that would happen.
I'm wailing inside "he doesn't love me any more". I thought that was what I wanted but it's not. It's not.
I have freed him and re-imprisioned myself! What did I do? Can I undo it somehow?
I cannot go NC which might fix things but it's torture being in his company now knowing he doesn't care for me anymore. And he's not putting it on, I know he's not.
Can anyone offer any advice to me.
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Re: I Made a Mistake!
Switch “she” with “he” and that is me! Well, my story almost exactly. And, I feel your pain big time. In fact I she a tear for both of us. I’ve been trying to find the words to describe my feelings and you found those words.
This has been going on for about 18 months now and it is so incredibly difficult. I am getting better and time seems to be a great healer for me. But, I have a long ways to go.
Interestingly enough I decided LC is best for me in the long run. She is a person with feelings just like me and in time the strong feelings will no doubt fade and be replaced with appreciation that I was lucky to have had a deeper relationship. LIM is really something you live with not get rid of I think and coming to terms with that has helped me. You know, like recovery from an addiction. I just manage it by recognizing the dangers and the destruction it causes. Ultimately for me it is about getting to a mental place of love...real love and even forgiveness. For both of us.
All easily said. Not at all easy to do. I can only tell myself over and over that this is helping me become a better person somehow by truly forcing me to look within and working on my issues. And in the end, maybe what I endure will be lessons I can pass along to others.
Time. Mark each day. Keep track of the good ones and replay in your mind what made it good. And, maybe do the same for the bad days, but don’t dwell and feel sorry for yourself. Simply recognize what the triggers are and work on those.
Stay strong.
-
This has been going on for about 18 months now and it is so incredibly difficult. I am getting better and time seems to be a great healer for me. But, I have a long ways to go.
Interestingly enough I decided LC is best for me in the long run. She is a person with feelings just like me and in time the strong feelings will no doubt fade and be replaced with appreciation that I was lucky to have had a deeper relationship. LIM is really something you live with not get rid of I think and coming to terms with that has helped me. You know, like recovery from an addiction. I just manage it by recognizing the dangers and the destruction it causes. Ultimately for me it is about getting to a mental place of love...real love and even forgiveness. For both of us.
All easily said. Not at all easy to do. I can only tell myself over and over that this is helping me become a better person somehow by truly forcing me to look within and working on my issues. And in the end, maybe what I endure will be lessons I can pass along to others.
Time. Mark each day. Keep track of the good ones and replay in your mind what made it good. And, maybe do the same for the bad days, but don’t dwell and feel sorry for yourself. Simply recognize what the triggers are and work on those.
Stay strong.
-
-----
“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
Re: I Made a Mistake!
@ Nowords
Thank you for replying and being kind to me. I feel for you too. I know you are suffering.
I think I will have to harden myself to him and if he wants to demonise me I will just have to let him. But I just don't know how to do that. I still only like him. Its so sad how little self examination people do. Imagine the one who has been basically thrown away, except for being allowed to sit at LO's feet in admiration - being the one blamed for everything! Some people can't face themselves and their part in the whole sorry affair. Imagine, he has demonised me, who never did anything but like him and wanted to love him - but I had to draw the line on being his 'ego trip'. He did try to make amends when I began to pull away and maybe I should have accepted that, but my pride was hurt and I wouldn't come back.
Nowords, we're just too nice. We're decent people and we have to finally accept that our LOs are not as nice or as decent or as giving or as kind or as sweet....as we thought - or rather hoped they were!
Thank you for replying and being kind to me. I feel for you too. I know you are suffering.
I think I will have to harden myself to him and if he wants to demonise me I will just have to let him. But I just don't know how to do that. I still only like him. Its so sad how little self examination people do. Imagine the one who has been basically thrown away, except for being allowed to sit at LO's feet in admiration - being the one blamed for everything! Some people can't face themselves and their part in the whole sorry affair. Imagine, he has demonised me, who never did anything but like him and wanted to love him - but I had to draw the line on being his 'ego trip'. He did try to make amends when I began to pull away and maybe I should have accepted that, but my pride was hurt and I wouldn't come back.
Nowords, we're just too nice. We're decent people and we have to finally accept that our LOs are not as nice or as decent or as giving or as kind or as sweet....as we thought - or rather hoped they were!
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Re: I Made a Mistake!
Indeed, too nice. And we also want to be loved. But we have to realize that we cannot be loved by everyone and if he wants to demonize you, let him do it. You know how it really was and if he asked, you could explain.
Re: I Made a Mistake!
IvB.
Yes, if he asked I would try to explain myself but I've waited so long for him to ask me anything that I'm not sure I would be able to.
But I don't have to worry, he will never ask. Why? He is both unable to communicate with me (or women in general) and, sadly I have to admit it, he just doesn't care what I think about anything. Everything was as he wanted it and now it isn't and he's very put out about that and how unjustly he has been treated! He's angry with me
Yes, if he asked I would try to explain myself but I've waited so long for him to ask me anything that I'm not sure I would be able to.
But I don't have to worry, he will never ask. Why? He is both unable to communicate with me (or women in general) and, sadly I have to admit it, he just doesn't care what I think about anything. Everything was as he wanted it and now it isn't and he's very put out about that and how unjustly he has been treated! He's angry with me
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Re: I Made a Mistake!
@mycorona,
I have been thinking about what you described quite a bit. Not sure why, but your story really resonates with me and pretty helpful in some ways - mostly the "I am not alone in all of this".
I think the guy you are LIM for is pretty immature when it is all said and done. The fact that he has turned this around and has made you feel as though you are the one who did everything wrong and is angry with you says quite about him actually. He is made at himself not you. He is the one who blew it not only losing something special but has even ruined a friendship. I don't believe in NC with anyone who has ever been of significance and think the LC approach you took was a healthy one for you. If a LO is unable to recognize how important that is probably is not able to provide the love you ultimately deserve. I put so much value on empathy (not sympathy) but empathy. People who really matter do care no matter the circumstances. In my opinion anyway.
All of this said, I suspect your LO is in pain too and is likely doing what he is doing as his way to get a grip on his feelings like you are. The "indifference" in this case really smacks of "playing games" and is largely disturbing and a bit cruel in my estimation. I don't think it is real in this case. I think you are a very nice person who is not being treated well. And, I think this happens because you are allowing it too. I am hoping you can get your power back like you did before, but think you need to do this for YOU not for a way of getting his attention.
I am not sure I am finding the right words....or even phrasing any of this in a way that is helpful. Honestly, whomever he is has kind of made me both angry as well as slightly sad for the two of you. Angry because I relate in some ways and also think nobody should be treated like this. Sad because, well, the human condition is so confusing, painful, etc., It does lead me to say to myself everything and everyone happens for a reason. Just find that reason and see within in it the positive direction it is sending you whenever possible.
I have been thinking about what you described quite a bit. Not sure why, but your story really resonates with me and pretty helpful in some ways - mostly the "I am not alone in all of this".
I think the guy you are LIM for is pretty immature when it is all said and done. The fact that he has turned this around and has made you feel as though you are the one who did everything wrong and is angry with you says quite about him actually. He is made at himself not you. He is the one who blew it not only losing something special but has even ruined a friendship. I don't believe in NC with anyone who has ever been of significance and think the LC approach you took was a healthy one for you. If a LO is unable to recognize how important that is probably is not able to provide the love you ultimately deserve. I put so much value on empathy (not sympathy) but empathy. People who really matter do care no matter the circumstances. In my opinion anyway.
All of this said, I suspect your LO is in pain too and is likely doing what he is doing as his way to get a grip on his feelings like you are. The "indifference" in this case really smacks of "playing games" and is largely disturbing and a bit cruel in my estimation. I don't think it is real in this case. I think you are a very nice person who is not being treated well. And, I think this happens because you are allowing it too. I am hoping you can get your power back like you did before, but think you need to do this for YOU not for a way of getting his attention.
I am not sure I am finding the right words....or even phrasing any of this in a way that is helpful. Honestly, whomever he is has kind of made me both angry as well as slightly sad for the two of you. Angry because I relate in some ways and also think nobody should be treated like this. Sad because, well, the human condition is so confusing, painful, etc., It does lead me to say to myself everything and everyone happens for a reason. Just find that reason and see within in it the positive direction it is sending you whenever possible.
-----
“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
“A thing can be true and not the truth,”
― Kristin Hannah, The Great Alone
Re: I Made a Mistake!
@Nowords
You have put much thought into your reply to me and I thank you. You are right on many levels. His immaturity and lack of empathy. I know he can't help it which also pains me as he doesn't even realise the depth of my understanding of him. He has emotional problems. Doesn't make friends easily and is a loner though amongst us, his friends, when he starts talking and joking, he cannot stop, often jumping around with excitement. He knew I had eyes only for him and he liked it.
I know it's a cleche but he truly finds women scary creatures and when he would look at me sometimes, liking for example something I was wearing, he looked like a teenager, grinning stupidly at me - he's 57. But I loved his weird personality, his boyish grinning, his inability with women. I wanted to wrap him up in my kindness and my empathy - and he loved my kindness and would become shy when it showed, he liked it so much. I unfortunately picked a 'damaged' man. Hurt badly in previous relationships and though married, by all accounts married to a hard and demanding woman who (his friend says) he is afraid of! Strange for me to understand that, but from things he has said I believe it. I wanted to help, I wanted to love him a little, I wanted to comfort him. But he's too afraid, We have never even been able to speak about 'us' or our feelings.
I know that he likes my curves and I have certainly tried to make the best of them for him, so in that respect, he knows I dress for him. He always liked that, and I liked it too. It was our flirtation. I knew he looked and I wanted him to look. That's why I have now become so self conscious of how I am dressing since he has decided to let me know he will not be 'tempted' by me. Now I'm conscious when I walk in front of him or stand with my back to him that he feels I'm trying to show off my ass. I feel he has decided I'm some sort of 'cheap woman' who wants sexual power over him. I have seen an irritated look cross his face and he looks the other way. We were both playing that 'flirting game' but he turned against me because I went LC with him and I know it hurt him badly. Maybe he didn't realise how much he needed my attention and now he's trying to find a reason not to like me - as you said Nowords, in order to get over the situation himself. He suffered some months ago with a lot of feelings - hot and cold feelings that had me totally confused, turning up to see me many times a week and then not turning up for 2 weeks. Behaving very self consciously in my presence, etc. barely able to talk to me, then locking eyes with me.
He doesn't think I need to be considered here though, doesn't think I have anything to say in this matter. Doesn't see why he should even let me know what is or was going on! He just doesn't consider me. He's not good at anything to do with communication in an emotional way. That's why I'm in such pain now. He seems to have hardened himself against me and I'm hurting. If I was a less understanding person I would have been the one to harden myself against him - but I cannot. I understand the unhappiness in peoples lives, I try to understand their weaknesses, I try to love him in spite of his thoughtless and careless treatment of me.
I'm not fickle - I wish I was. I will never not want him. I will always want his company, his love and to matter to his life and to fit into his life even if only in a small way.
It's so hard to go on loving a person who has decided not to love you any more. And even harder to have to continue seeing them, continue being hurt by their careless treatment. I know you know this Nowords. I know you loved too - and still do. I say to you, take comfort that you had her in your arms, you loved her, you made memories with her that no one and no passage of time can ever erase. I only have him in my arms in my dreams...
God bless you over this lonely Christmas. God bless us both!
You have put much thought into your reply to me and I thank you. You are right on many levels. His immaturity and lack of empathy. I know he can't help it which also pains me as he doesn't even realise the depth of my understanding of him. He has emotional problems. Doesn't make friends easily and is a loner though amongst us, his friends, when he starts talking and joking, he cannot stop, often jumping around with excitement. He knew I had eyes only for him and he liked it.
I know it's a cleche but he truly finds women scary creatures and when he would look at me sometimes, liking for example something I was wearing, he looked like a teenager, grinning stupidly at me - he's 57. But I loved his weird personality, his boyish grinning, his inability with women. I wanted to wrap him up in my kindness and my empathy - and he loved my kindness and would become shy when it showed, he liked it so much. I unfortunately picked a 'damaged' man. Hurt badly in previous relationships and though married, by all accounts married to a hard and demanding woman who (his friend says) he is afraid of! Strange for me to understand that, but from things he has said I believe it. I wanted to help, I wanted to love him a little, I wanted to comfort him. But he's too afraid, We have never even been able to speak about 'us' or our feelings.
I know that he likes my curves and I have certainly tried to make the best of them for him, so in that respect, he knows I dress for him. He always liked that, and I liked it too. It was our flirtation. I knew he looked and I wanted him to look. That's why I have now become so self conscious of how I am dressing since he has decided to let me know he will not be 'tempted' by me. Now I'm conscious when I walk in front of him or stand with my back to him that he feels I'm trying to show off my ass. I feel he has decided I'm some sort of 'cheap woman' who wants sexual power over him. I have seen an irritated look cross his face and he looks the other way. We were both playing that 'flirting game' but he turned against me because I went LC with him and I know it hurt him badly. Maybe he didn't realise how much he needed my attention and now he's trying to find a reason not to like me - as you said Nowords, in order to get over the situation himself. He suffered some months ago with a lot of feelings - hot and cold feelings that had me totally confused, turning up to see me many times a week and then not turning up for 2 weeks. Behaving very self consciously in my presence, etc. barely able to talk to me, then locking eyes with me.
He doesn't think I need to be considered here though, doesn't think I have anything to say in this matter. Doesn't see why he should even let me know what is or was going on! He just doesn't consider me. He's not good at anything to do with communication in an emotional way. That's why I'm in such pain now. He seems to have hardened himself against me and I'm hurting. If I was a less understanding person I would have been the one to harden myself against him - but I cannot. I understand the unhappiness in peoples lives, I try to understand their weaknesses, I try to love him in spite of his thoughtless and careless treatment of me.
I'm not fickle - I wish I was. I will never not want him. I will always want his company, his love and to matter to his life and to fit into his life even if only in a small way.
It's so hard to go on loving a person who has decided not to love you any more. And even harder to have to continue seeing them, continue being hurt by their careless treatment. I know you know this Nowords. I know you loved too - and still do. I say to you, take comfort that you had her in your arms, you loved her, you made memories with her that no one and no passage of time can ever erase. I only have him in my arms in my dreams...
God bless you over this lonely Christmas. God bless us both!
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Re: I Made a Mistake!
Hi mycorona
It’s certainly a sad story and I can empathise with a lot of it. From a mans point of view he sounds very similar to me. Shy, not good around women etc..
If you are both married that’s a hell of a lot of conflicting emotions to get your head around, and sure he is in the same boat. I wrestled with those emotions for months and am only now beginning to recognise the different between limerence (pleasure) and love (happiness). My LO initiated LC and I remember only too well the gamut of emotions that sparked. Anger, resentment, disbelief, jealousy. All completely natural as stages of essentially grief, then mixed into the odd crumb dropped in every few weeks for months that just caused the rollercoaster.
I think being friends when those emotions are in play is unfortunately unrealistic and a trick our minds play on us for our primal brain to get what it wants. Only when out of the fog is it possible to see that. I flick (what often feels hourly!) between realising this and then longing for it. It’s not easy but I am learning that NC is the only way I can escape the limerence trap.
Have either of you talked about getting together if you were both single? I would advise you not to go further down the path of an emotional affair if neither of you want to separate. It’s painful for everyone involved even if you unwittingly found yourself in that spot.
LC is still keeping the embers burning and always will. I guess this could be healthy but in my case I think it would just prolong the agony. I am learning to realise that my LO was significant in my life but any contact will simply set me back months of pain. I mean her no ill will at all. If it’s meant to be then it will happen but that’s no way to live believing it might.
It’s certainly a sad story and I can empathise with a lot of it. From a mans point of view he sounds very similar to me. Shy, not good around women etc..
If you are both married that’s a hell of a lot of conflicting emotions to get your head around, and sure he is in the same boat. I wrestled with those emotions for months and am only now beginning to recognise the different between limerence (pleasure) and love (happiness). My LO initiated LC and I remember only too well the gamut of emotions that sparked. Anger, resentment, disbelief, jealousy. All completely natural as stages of essentially grief, then mixed into the odd crumb dropped in every few weeks for months that just caused the rollercoaster.
I think being friends when those emotions are in play is unfortunately unrealistic and a trick our minds play on us for our primal brain to get what it wants. Only when out of the fog is it possible to see that. I flick (what often feels hourly!) between realising this and then longing for it. It’s not easy but I am learning that NC is the only way I can escape the limerence trap.
Have either of you talked about getting together if you were both single? I would advise you not to go further down the path of an emotional affair if neither of you want to separate. It’s painful for everyone involved even if you unwittingly found yourself in that spot.
LC is still keeping the embers burning and always will. I guess this could be healthy but in my case I think it would just prolong the agony. I am learning to realise that my LO was significant in my life but any contact will simply set me back months of pain. I mean her no ill will at all. If it’s meant to be then it will happen but that’s no way to live believing it might.
Re: I Made a Mistake!
@Spadge
Thanks so much for your insightful reply.
No, that's a big problem for me, we don't talk. Never have. He's unable or maybe unwilling. I prefer to talk about things, he's an avoider. This is part of the problem. We could clear the air, say how we both felt, etc. but he won't. I must admit I did hope that LC would force his hand in some way - to talk that is. But he doesn't want to.
I do feel NC would heal me but unfortunately its not possible. I believe this love game is an addiction and the only true answer is going Cold Turkey...
I understand the conflicts you mention as we both have SOs. I can honestly say that all I had in mind was a flirtation, could we, would we, should we, sort of thing - the romantic woman I guess! But he moved towards me then back , then started the longing looks which just went on and on. I was totally confused by him and that's one of the reasons I started LC as I can't play games. Spit it out is my way. I wanted us to connect and probably decide mutually that we couldn't do anything. --How romantic!
I've thought about nothing only what might be going on in his head for so long that I'm dizzy! I'll never know and it's the hardest thing I have ever had to live with.
I can only pray that something will intervene to drive us to NC, What and when it may happen I have no idea.
Thanks again Spadge...
Thanks so much for your insightful reply.
No, that's a big problem for me, we don't talk. Never have. He's unable or maybe unwilling. I prefer to talk about things, he's an avoider. This is part of the problem. We could clear the air, say how we both felt, etc. but he won't. I must admit I did hope that LC would force his hand in some way - to talk that is. But he doesn't want to.
I do feel NC would heal me but unfortunately its not possible. I believe this love game is an addiction and the only true answer is going Cold Turkey...
I understand the conflicts you mention as we both have SOs. I can honestly say that all I had in mind was a flirtation, could we, would we, should we, sort of thing - the romantic woman I guess! But he moved towards me then back , then started the longing looks which just went on and on. I was totally confused by him and that's one of the reasons I started LC as I can't play games. Spit it out is my way. I wanted us to connect and probably decide mutually that we couldn't do anything. --How romantic!
I've thought about nothing only what might be going on in his head for so long that I'm dizzy! I'll never know and it's the hardest thing I have ever had to live with.
I can only pray that something will intervene to drive us to NC, What and when it may happen I have no idea.
Thanks again Spadge...
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Re: I Made a Mistake!
Hi mycorona
You are welcome. Be careful with the honourable intentions as they play havoc still with your mind.
Me and my LO used to joke that had things been different we would have been together, and how lucky we both are to have a backup plan if our relationships didn’t work out.
I now know it’s not nice to know that at all, it’s a complete mind bender and takes something away from the relationship with your SO. I Nan working on reframing it that we will never be each other’s backup plan. I don’t want to be with her as that would mean we have both been through pain to get there. This reframing is helping and I wish we had never explored our feelings now. Yes it feels amazing at the time but the comedown is just not worth it.
You are welcome. Be careful with the honourable intentions as they play havoc still with your mind.
Me and my LO used to joke that had things been different we would have been together, and how lucky we both are to have a backup plan if our relationships didn’t work out.
I now know it’s not nice to know that at all, it’s a complete mind bender and takes something away from the relationship with your SO. I Nan working on reframing it that we will never be each other’s backup plan. I don’t want to be with her as that would mean we have both been through pain to get there. This reframing is helping and I wish we had never explored our feelings now. Yes it feels amazing at the time but the comedown is just not worth it.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests