A New Problem

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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Idiotic
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

A New Problem

Post by Idiotic »

Right so, I guess I'm not going NC with my LO, or LC

Are any of you LE for your friends?

What I'm finding hard is to tell myself that


She's not a bad person just cos she doesn't text me back

Lol
This is so hard
I want to be normal

But I stalk her social media sometimes and she's like active there not texting me

Whihc is fine!
She doesn't owe me anything

Still you know

I want to be chill about it

Cos really
She's not bad just cos she doesn't text me back


I need to feel that

Not just cerebrally know that
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn

mycorona
Posts: 34
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:16 pm
Great Britain

Re: A New Problem

Post by mycorona »

@ idiotic
Does she know how you feel? Have you disclosed? Are you both available? If the answer to rhe first two is no and the last one is yes then why not go for it. Women like to be chased, they want to know the guy is hot for them. If I were a man I'd pull out all the stops to get my LO. But I'm not and I'm sick of waiting for his on off hot and cold behaviour. I'm sitting in one coffee shop while I know he's sitting in another and I'm hoping he'll miss me - but he's got no ba..s to act even if he did. He'd rather do without than take a chance. And I'm sick of waiting for him. Also there are 'circumstances' I can pick them. So if you get the chance, go for it. Then at least you'll kn ow.
Good luck!
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Idiotic
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: A New Problem

Post by Idiotic »

Lol yeah she knows everything

But it's still complicated

Cos we are miles and miles apart

So it's like

Let's chill and be friends

And you know, it's not even jealousy now, cos I know she has like a thing with another friend who lives near her

I don't care,

But then

It's like , be courteous you know...

I'm not even in the friendzone

It's just impossible to explain

Cos shes impossible to explain

Sometimes I think she's a sociopath, but an ethical sociopath you know.
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn

mycorona
Posts: 34
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:16 pm
Great Britain

Re: A New Problem

Post by mycorona »

Ok, sounds complicated alright. My friend, either go for it - move if you have to, or forget the whole thing. Life is short. Live it!
My God damned manipulative LO was not where I thought he would be this morning. He said he would meet my SO this morning with friends in a particular coffee shop. I know he said that because he was trying to get me to go there, but I didn't - and neither did he. He wanted me to go there so I would see that he didn't turn up. He's trying to beat me at my game of LC. There have been many other instances of him doing this. I'm not insane - well maybe I am, but not about his tactics. He's a bester.
And on we go with the dance...... 8-}
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Idiotic
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: A New Problem

Post by Idiotic »

mycorona wrote:
Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:16 pm
Ok, sounds complicated alright. My friend, either go for it - move if you have to, or forget the whole thing. Life is short. Live it!
My God damned manipulative LO was not where I thought he would be this morning. He said he would meet my SO this morning with friends in a particular coffee shop. I know he said that because he was trying to get me to go there, but I didn't - and neither did he. He wanted me to go there so I would see that he didn't turn up. He's trying to beat me at my game of LC. There have been many other instances of him doing this. I'm not insane - well maybe I am, but not about his tactics. He's a bester.
And on we go with the dance...... 8-}

Sadly can't do either.
Can't forget or move

But talking about your LO
Mind games are exhausting, idk how you deal with it.
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn

mycorona
Posts: 34
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:16 pm
Great Britain

Re: A New Problem

Post by mycorona »

So sorry to hear that Idiotic. You're sure stuck between a rock and a hard place.... I hope with more time, things will ease up for you. Does the distance not help you?
Ah yes, mind games. He's so subtle, only I would notice what he's at. But he's the one who stepped away from any involvement so the least he could do is stop playing with me. But he loves the ego trip. Small minded man, but the gravy train of my 'adoration' is over.

I've had enough and now I'm angry and want what little control I can have - control of myself and my feelings. He's a big 'man child' who only thinks of himself. He pulled out all the stops to prevent me distancing myself and now he's getting petty and trying to even control my LC.

He won't succeed, I need this small piece of control for my own self respect.
Me: F
LO: M
Both Married
“Invisible Threads are the Strongest Ties” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

JupiterTaco
Posts: 4435
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: A New Problem

Post by JupiterTaco »

I don't think it's a good idea to try to be friends. Is there a hobby you can throw yourself into for a bit? That actually helped keep my LEs at bay pretty well.

I'm also trying to learn new boundaries with people. What I realized is that emotionally healthy people don't contact each other all day, I don't care who they are. I just didn't learn that.
"Byreeeeeeeen! Byreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"

Idiotic
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: A New Problem

Post by Idiotic »

JupiterTaco wrote:
Wed Sep 16, 2020 8:27 am
I don't think it's a good idea to try to be friends. Is there a hobby you can throw yourself into for a bit? That actually helped keep my LEs at bay pretty well.

I'm also trying to learn new boundaries with people. What I realized is that emotionally healthy people don't contact each other all day, I don't care who they are. I just didn't learn that.

Uhh
It's not about trying to be friends
It's like we are friends

And also I'm not hiding anything
No secret agenda


But you know how people are


And yeah get your point about being emotionally healthy

Lol

Well I'm not quite there yet


But that's what I aspire to you know

To not take it very personally if she doesn't text baxk
I keep dancing on my own - Robyn

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