LC providing relief

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
peter.rabbit
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LC providing relief

Post by peter.rabbit »

One tangible benefit to being in Covid-19 quarantine has been LC (low contact) with my LO. The cycle of intense ups and downs has been obscured, maybe broken, hopefully. I hope I can hold onto the perspective that she is just a normal woman that is NOT available, and that being acquaintances or friends as we are, will not progress into more. At this level my Limerence is "manageable", and not seeming like a "psychiatric emergency" as my HMO's telephone directory would say. I would like at some point to speak to a counselor about a whole host of issues, but the sense of urgency has lessened.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

PhoenixJB
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by PhoenixJB »

It's good that quarantine's forced LC is giving you some relief... maybe you can even start to go lower and lower contact until it's NC?

I too would like to find a good counselor/therapist... I made two calls yesterday but they haven't called back yet and I need to reach out to more. I know that I have some issues to work on and some healing to do.

JupiterTaco
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by JupiterTaco »

I'm glad to hear it's working for you, others have said similar things. I think LC makes mine worse when I do have contact, it sucks. I really wish for NC. Is LC different for you and how?
"Byreeeeeeeen! Byreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"

peter.rabbit
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by peter.rabbit »

JupiterTaco wrote:
Tue Jun 30, 2020 4:03 pm
Is LC different for you and how?
Well NC for me means I'll never ever see her again, and that sends me spiraling straight into a bad funk. LC is where- "yeah, I'll probably see her here or there someday, and I'm comfortable with that.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

L-F
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by L-F »

Good for you! I always look at elderly men limerent for younger women and wonder "when the fuck are they going to wake up??? Grow up even???"

Its hard! Getting over our ego is difficult, just ask David

But, it's all part of growing up. Yay to those who move beyond being ego-stroked. I wish my father would. At 90 he still accuses my mother (his full time carer and exwife) about going out to be ego-stroked just because he can't (so he projects it on to her). Please don't be like like him. He's got issues!
Learn to forgive...Life is too short to live with hate.
"Everything is within your power, and your power is within you." Janice Trachtman

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ireneadler
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by ireneadler »

The pandemic is providing relief for me too with the forced LC. Things were way more intense in person. And time with LO, especially alone, had been increasing. I’m glad I was forced out of my happy place. I’m taking better care of myself and my family, performing better at work (remotely), and being more realistic that even though he might be a “work spouse”, he will never be my real husband.

But with the relief also comes the pain. March/April was agony.
40 something, married with kids
LO is a married with kids co-worker

peter.rabbit
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by peter.rabbit »

L-F wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 12:09 pm
I always look at elderly men limerent for younger women and wonder "when the fuck are they going to wake up??? Grow up even???"
As a man I do understand that dynamic. Men are mentally hardwired to pursue procreation, and that often means attraction to younger women. My LO is 59, neither she nor I have any desire to run off together and have babies. I'm content to just be "friends". I recognize my feelings for her as being excessive, and the product of an ongoing condition for which I continue to cope with.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

JupiterTaco
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by JupiterTaco »

Forgive me, I just wanted to double check, is this the same person you're talking about as when you first signed up?
"Byreeeeeeeen! Byreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"

peter.rabbit
Posts: 325
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by peter.rabbit »

JupiterTaco wrote:
Sat Jul 04, 2020 2:50 am
Forgive me, I just wanted to double check, is this the same person you're talking about as when you first signed up?
The LO of my present ongoing LE? Yes.
Weak people revenge.
Strong people forgive.
Intelligent people ignore.
-Albert Einstein

JupiterTaco
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Re: LC providing relief

Post by JupiterTaco »

peter.rabbit wrote:
Fri Jul 03, 2020 4:12 am
L-F wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 12:09 pm
I always look at elderly men limerent for younger women and wonder "when the fuck are they going to wake up??? Grow up even???"
As a man I do understand that dynamic. Men are mentally hardwired to pursue procreation, and that often means attraction to younger women. My LO is 59, neither she nor I have any desire to run off together and have babies. I'm content to just be "friends". I recognize my feelings for her as being excessive, and the product of an ongoing condition for which I continue to cope with.
Do you think you can be friends with her without the feelings? And even if so, are you 100% sure she won't use the "friend" situation to manipulate your feelings?
"Byreeeeeeeen! Byreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"

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