Hijacked and failing

[WishMagick]

@Maddie, I have rallied support from my spouse on my person addiction. My husband understands that this has nothing to do with my LO. Or....rather...little to do with him.

If a spouse could understand that, then support is easier to give!

And my spouse has absolutely NO experience with addiction! Of any sort! I explain it to him over and over and he feels nothing but bewilderment and compassion for me. But I do realize that I am very very lucky to have him.

[Acrobatica]

Cookie:

Just sending you love and good thoughts. You always have such good things to say on this forum.

Lately I've been thinking that I've intellectually understood limerence for a long time, but my emotional self still hasn't fully caught up.

[Cookie]

Cookie:

Just sending you love and good thoughts. You always have such good things to say on this forum.

Lately I've been thinking that I've intellectually understood limerence for a long time, but my emotional self still hasn't fully caught up.

Thank you, Acrobatica!! Your posts have really resonated recently, and I appreciate your candor and perspective.

Yes, the cognitive part is going well. The emotional part? Oof. Determined though not to repeat my mom's pattern of enabling abusive losers.

[Idiotic]

I've noticed it as well.
I know all about it in my brain..
But when I feel sad without knowing, I find myself reaching for my new potential LO.

[Maddie]

@Maddie, I have rallied support from my spouse on my person addiction. My husband understands that this has nothing to do with my LO. Or....rather...little to do with him.

My DH also has no experience with addiction, and I have many. See you did the RIGHT thing by telling your DH about the person addiction before anything actually happened. I praise you for that!!! did you mention before that you and your DH are more open sexually? bc that may also affect how he responded to you saying that you kinda had a crush on LO. (if could be wrong about what you said, not trying to mis quote you)

because despite what I've done, my DH and I are painfully conservative (and I'm not saying that's necessarily good). I have an idea of how I would've told him pre-affair, even if it made him feel insecure. but there's no way in hell I'm opening up now and disclosing everything. I suppose I could still tell him that I'm obsessed with somebody else? that will lead to more questions. he may even contact this man (LO)!

please don't copy

[WishMagick]

@Maddie,

Yes, we are sexually open - BUT we didn't decide that until after this whole thing happened!

So, I told my husband that I thought our new neighbor was hot the first day I saw him. He thought it was hilarious. Then after we all met each other and started getting friendly, I told my husband that my attraction turned into a crush. And basically I was completely transparent with him the entire time. My husband said he would have no issues with me hooking up with LO if it was just about sex. So, it was this whole situation that brought to light that I AM still alive, and human and sexually attracted to other people. And I realize my DH is too. He's not rushing to have any encounters with anyone else, just as I'm not.

My LE is what made us discuss how our marriage can be open, sexually.

And we both get the appeal of polyamory! But, we both agree having relationships with others can and probably would get extremely complicated because not everyone is as honest and open about things as we are. It takes everyone involved to be honest and open to make polyamory work.