Have you ever been limerent for two people at the same time?

[moreissuesthanvogue]

Or suddenly become limerent for someone you already know?

Ugh.... This so so confusing.

[PhoenixJB]

I posted and then deleted this very same question just a few days ago.

I've been limerent for LO1 since November. We are 'friends' I guess, we message every day and met in person and made out... then he felt really guilty and started messaging me much less. During that time some other guy I'd been casually messaging and had no real interest in, swooped in and totally swept me off my feet with some pretty romantic talk. I was head over heels. Now I was checking my phone for notifications from not just one, but two, LO's.

Well I pretty quickly realized, with the help of a couple friends, this new guy was a narcissist who was love-bombing me, and he somehow picked the exact right time to do it, when I was feeling down because LO1 was distancing himself. Anyway when I realized this new guy was love-bombing (and then he turned on me, got mad at me, told me tell my lies to other guys and I'm moving too fast! classic narc behavior) I told him I need to attend to a family matter for a few days and couldn't talk with him. That was really hard because in such a short time I'd begun to feel limerent. But I don't need or want a narcissist in my life, so. And I'm over him now, mostly. It's still tempting to seek his attention and no one loves like a narcissist (but only when they love you).

So. I don't know if that was a true limerence or not, but I had wondered the very same thing.

[David]

Or suddenly become limerent for someone you already know?

In this poll, the 31% of responders has known their LO for more than 1 year before developing limerence over them

viewtopic.php?f=51&t=313

[JupiterTaco]

When I bottomed out in limerence with my former LO, I discovered I had feelings for my (same-sex) close friend, who had wanted to get us together. How on earth did that happen??? I was also grieving a death.

Between that situation, the ongoing situation with my neighbor and of course years of watching my mom with her male "friends", I've decided I don't want friends nor do I want to date someone with friends. I realize how that makes me sound. Ugh, I thought heavy lifting was supposed to make one healthier...

[Katrulz]

I’ve wondered the same thing.

Most of my LOs were one at a time. Limerence is after all obsessive continual thoughts and well after all i can only think about one person at a time.

However one way to end limerence is transference where the feelings you have for LO1 lessen gradually as you start thinking about LO2.

You likely have seen on here how many people say they don’t every really get over old limerences and have thoughts about them after the LE ends so perhaps what you’re experiencing is transference from LO1 to LO2 and you’re in the period of transference where you still think about both.

I’ve experienced mild LE with two people at once. I recognised I was falling for LO1 so ran away and started falling for LO2 and distanced myself from both but there was still a mild draw to both if that makes sense? The constant checking for messages and obsessive thinking alternating on both. Eh maybe that’s just me.

[Daydreaming]

I have never experienced a situation of limerence by two people simultaneously. Something that always occurred to me was to transfer limerent to other people suddenly, usually to someone closer as a way of avoiding the mental breakdown experienced by Limerence's peak by main LO.

Limerence most often occurs in series, but hardly in parallel.

It works like a scale. When you transfer feelings to Person 2, feelings for Person 1 are drastically reduced. The question is how long will you stay focused on Person 2 before returning to the comfort of Personnel 1. Anyone who has had an LE for many years, usually has someone as the "main" who feels more comfortable to focus their obsessive thoughts.

[Celestialbody]

.Never. I don't think it's possible.

[Maddie]

For me, it isn't possible either.

[Lavender]

Yes. I have and I am. I never thought it was possible. I think about both of them. Bounce back and forth. It’s insane.