WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
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David
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WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by David »

I've had a PM from a member about another user encouraging communication via PM and then getting said user to disclose private details and then asking for pictures.

Such behaviour when reported will not be tolerated and any user reported will be banned - no iffs no buts.

That said, you are advised to NEVER disclose any personal info via PM. Take care of yourself. Some of us are in a vulnerable state when coming here and a comforting ear offered via PM may not be as innocent as it appears.
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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by Bridget »

Thank you for the warning, David, and for taking action when a predator is discovered!

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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by Pattihopeful »

Thanks, David. Always good to keep in mind when interacting online.

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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by Idiotic »

Not to make light of the situation but some people here clearly think along these lines lol

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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by JupiterTaco »

Jeez, who is doing this and to whom? In all my years posting here, that's never happened to me. I mean it's good but yeah...?
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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by L-F »

Just adding a longer version re predators here viewtopic.php?f=45&t=6652
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David
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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by David »

Ive had further PM's from members with concerns about a member here befriending them via PM, then requesting photos and phone numbers.

Ive PM'd the person concerned and given a final warning. Ive yet to kick anyone off this forum, however this person is close to being the first. I dont want groomers or any other predatory behaviour on this forum.

Do not disclose your phone numbers or other contact details and there if you feel the need to start exchanging photos, you have to ask yourself why? Are you here to hook up or heal? The 2 are not generally mutually compatible.

PLease do PM me if you have experienced similar behaviour so I can start tracking the extent of this and pruning where necessary.
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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by Pandora »

I don't mean to be overly critical David, because God knows being a forum moderator is a thankless, horrible service position, but:
David wrote:
Sun Oct 06, 2019 10:06 pm
Such behaviour when reported will not be tolerated and any user reported will be banned - no iffs no buts.
It's a great sounding statement, but apparently it's false.
David wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 7:42 am
Ive PM'd the person concerned and given a final warning. Ive yet to kick anyone off this forum, however this person is close to being the first.
In the thread she posted, L-F reported that one couple actually tried to start an IRL relationship which went pear shaped. I don't know the full details of everything (how much has actually been reported to you, the exact details of conversations) but it's apparent that people are using this forum, whether intentionally or as an unconscious product of their spiritual/emotional poverty, to get their fix. It's apparent that this has been a recurring issue, and yet you still haven't banned anyone to this day?

I know that ultimately, we're (mostly) adults here, and it's up to us to set boundaries, and that the people doing the predatory/grooming behaviours are probably the ones that need this forum the most. However we all come here sick, and I think it's in the best interests of both the predators and those receptive to them that bans are applied a bit more freely. I know when I was at my sickest I wouldn't have reported grooming behaviour because it would be filling my addiction, so for every time someone makes a report about an individual, I'd bet there are three other similar circumstances happening that the parties involved are keeping quiet about.

I want this forum to be a place where people can be vulnerable and puke out all of their baggage, not a place where people come and get involved in their next 5 year limerent episode.
I'm not here to be a creep,
I'm just feeling complete.
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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by Pandora »

OK, now I'm angry.

The update to this thread was made because I reported an individual on this forum. This individual PMed me today, telling me that they had received a PM from David, but when he went to read it, it had been deleted. He PMed David to ask what the message was in regards to, but had to piece it together when he read this thread.

This isn't fair to either of us. The individual I reported deserves more consideration than having to piece things together via a grandstanding thread about how limerence.net doesn't want groomers/predatory behaviour on this site, and I should be able to trust David when he says he has a zero tolerance policy for these kinds of things.

If there needs to be a certain burden of proof for the accuser, that is fine. This is all online communication, and the accuser should be able to provide screenshots of the offending material. If there's a strike system against an individual, that is fine, as long as this process is communicated to the rest of us. Right now it looks like a lot of grandstanding without teeth from admin. I'd like to see a set standard on what to expect when reporting/being accused. If David doesn't want to deal with it, he can find someone who is willing to do so (I'm not sure if we have any other mods/admin?).
I'm not here to be a creep,
I'm just feeling complete.
Take me home.

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Re: WARNING - beware of predators / groomers on this site

Post by David »

My response above was unclear and after posting the above I wanted to get some further information from a complaint registered from another user last October before making the final decision. I didn't then go back the above post to explain a delay. Same applies to the PM sent to the person involved. I composed a PM about being banned, wanted to get this other information first and then deleting my PM. Our board software shows when a PM has been composed and then deleted.

Ive had a response now from the other complaint last Oct. and the member involved is the same person. They have now been banned from this site.

this does not prevent this person coming back under a different guise.

Ultimately it is down to you as individuals to take care of yourselves. I can only take action when such behaviour is reported.
Do you want help with limerence from the founder of this site?
I'm a qualified counsellor, psychotherapist, medical practitioner and leadership coach.
To book a session see http://loverelations.co.uk/on-line-support-for-limerence-from-dr-david-perl/

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