Information: Please take a moment and visit your profile to choose a flag.

Self love?

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
Idiotic
Posts: 1397
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Self love?

Post by Idiotic » Tue Apr 10, 2018 9:26 pm

What is self love y'all keep talking about?
Call me naive but if i absolutely hated myself I would kill myself. When i hate things about myself i miserably try to make them better, i fail many times, but i keep trying.
But I don't think i can ever generate love for my 'self'. What is it? Acceptance(i just don't get this word as clearly as i would like) ? Ignoring and moving past your increasing pile of regrets? ?
Boy...youre gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, a long time - Golden Slumbers(The Beatles)

User avatar
Spinnaker
Posts: 1810
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
Contact:
United States of America

Re: Self love?

Post by Spinnaker » Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:15 pm


MrSpock
Posts: 547
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Gender:
Argentina

Re: Self love?

Post by MrSpock » Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:13 am

Idiotic wrote:
Tue Apr 10, 2018 9:26 pm
What is self love y'all keep talking about?
I think the term self-love is a bit of a misnomer.
Is similar to when we say "you have to be yourself". You obviously ARE yourself already, so what is that supposed to mean?

On the one hand, we all have a built-in self-interest that is just a component of our very essence, and we don't have to do anything to "have it". Even we want to destroy ourselves we do it out of that intrinsic self-interest, for no one cares to destroy anything that means nothing at all.

But on the other hand, self-interest and self-care is not the same. So, self-love really means to take care of yourself.

In practice that means accepting who we are, forgiving our mistakes, so we get the impulse to improve as opposed to destroy ourselves.
It also means to become aware of what we need, and at that, learn the impact of our actions so we can effectively get it.
It means to seek to thrive, not to perish.

In my opinion, the number one obstacle to self-love, that is, to taking care of ourselves, is guilt, which is nothing but directed resentment, which in turn, is the number one obstacle to loving others.

Learning to forgive, ourselves as well as others, is in my opinion the key that opens all doors.

(so I dedicate this song to self-love)


User avatar
Spinnaker
Posts: 1810
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
Contact:
United States of America

Re: Self love?

Post by Spinnaker » Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:53 am

Dammit Spock! Linkin Park is one of my yuuuuuge limerence triggers! I had forgotten Spock likes alternative. Glad you don't post too many songs. =)) Seriously though-- perfect song choice. :-bd Aaargh! I remember exactly how LO looked at me when we talked about this band. Breathe. Breathe.

MrSpock
Posts: 547
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Gender:
Argentina

Re: Self love?

Post by MrSpock » Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:59 am

Spinnaker wrote:
Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:53 am
Aaargh! I remember exactly how LO looked at me when we talked about this band. Breathe. Breathe.
Oops.. my bad :-B

User avatar
Spinnaker
Posts: 1810
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2016 7:25 am
Gender:
Contact:
United States of America

Re: Self love?

Post by Spinnaker » Wed Apr 11, 2018 1:07 am

:((

Idiotic
Posts: 1397
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: Self love?

Post by Idiotic » Wed Apr 11, 2018 8:09 am

Idk Spin.. the article is just too.. seven stepsy kinda thing... that chick in the picture looks wayyy too comfortable hugging herself =))
Boy...youre gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, a long time - Golden Slumbers(The Beatles)

Idiotic
Posts: 1397
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:58 am

Re: Self love?

Post by Idiotic » Wed Apr 11, 2018 8:12 am

MrSpock wrote:
Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:13 am
Idiotic wrote:
Tue Apr 10, 2018 9:26 pm
What is self love y'all keep talking about?
I think the term self-love is a bit of a misnomer.
Is similar to when we say "you have to be yourself". You obviously ARE yourself already, so what is that supposed to mean?

On the one hand, we all have a built-in self-interest that is just a component of our very essence, and we don't have to do anything to "have it". Even we want to destroy ourselves we do it out of that intrinsic self-interest, for no one cares to destroy anything that means nothing at all.

But on the other hand, self-interest and self-care is not the same. So, self-love really means to take care of yourself.

In practice that means accepting who we are, forgiving our mistakes, so we get the impulse to improve as opposed to destroy ourselves.
It also means to become aware of what we need, and at that, learn the impact of our actions so we can effectively get it.
It means to seek to thrive, not to perish.

In my opinion, the number one obstacle to self-love, that is, to taking care of ourselves, is guilt, which is nothing but directed resentment, which in turn, is the number one obstacle to loving others.

Learning to forgive, ourselves as well as others, is in my opinion the key that opens all doors.

(so I dedicate this song to self-love)

I remember when this came out, me and my sister would belt it out full volume \m/ \m/
Look at the irony, Chester decided to check out early...
Boy...youre gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, a long time - Golden Slumbers(The Beatles)

User avatar
french girl
Posts: 284
Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2016 3:48 pm

Re: Self love?

Post by french girl » Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:18 pm

MrSpock wrote:
Wed Apr 11, 2018 12:13 am
On the one hand, we all have a built-in self-interest that is just a component of our very essence, and we don't have to do anything to "have it". Even we want to destroy ourselves we do it out of that intrinsic self-interest, for no one cares to destroy anything that means nothing at all.

But on the other hand, self-interest and self-care is not the same. So, self-love really means to take care of yourself.

In practice that means accepting who we are, forgiving our mistakes, so we get the impulse to improve as opposed to destroy ourselves.
It also means to become aware of what we need, and at that, learn the impact of our actions so we can effectively get it.
It means to seek to thrive, not to perish.
I like the clarity of your explanation, Mr Spock. *-:)

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Self love?

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri Apr 13, 2018 12:32 am

Self-love doesn't necessarily mean forcing yourself to love yourself (heaven knows I've got a long way to go there), but just showing yourself the attention and compassion you'd show someone else.

Self-love is going easy on yourself, looking out for yourself, demanding respect and comfort for yourself, because no one else will and no one else can to the extent that you can for yourself. It's eating right, cutting back on unhealthy behaviors, choosing healthy behaviors and activities, letting your emotions out in a healthy way, giving yourself time and permission to reflect, rest, grieve, think, create, relax, etc. Not believing people who tell you or imply that you deserve bad treatment and disrespect. Maybe it is through these actions that self-love eventually happens since being abused and neglected is how people develop low self-love.
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests