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Is it over now?

Open forum ... what's on your mind? Want to vent or lament about your Limerent/Love Object? This is the ideal place.
Loza50
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu May 17, 2018 2:22 pm
Ireland

Is it over now?

Post by Loza50 » Thu May 17, 2018 3:21 pm

Hello it's been awhile since I have been on here 3 years to be exact and I have been looking over my posts, I was so addicted/ obsessed/and craved my Lo like a drug, my whole life revolved around being validated by him I wanted him to want me so badly I was completely blinded by it that everything/everyone fell to the way side it's been a long journey so euphoric yet so heart breaking when I wasn't fantasizing about him during the day he was in my dreams at night, I've noticed recently that I'm not as devastated as I used to be if I don't see him and can now go days without craving his presence or pining to be in his company, I feel this madness is finally easing off I still find him attractive but in a more normal manageable way is this the end? Have any of you experienced this 3 year withdrawal of feelings I'd be very interested to hear from you , thanks for reading X loz

marko
Posts: 1297
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm
United States of America

Re: Is it over now?

Post by marko » Thu May 17, 2018 6:38 pm

They can become quite distant as the reason you needed them changes. Gone but not forgotten. If you think of when you think of them, think of those thoughts. They may point to why you do. I noticed it was my anxiety therapy. As dread and doubt creep in, I think of this person. I notice a complete pattern of mental escape when that yuck feeling like depression creeps in. To bad it's a reaction, makes addressing it harder.

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: Is it over now?

Post by JupiterTaco » Fri May 18, 2018 1:36 am

I'm approaching the three-year mark and even though I don't think I'll relapse again, I'm not going to risk that by looking former LO up or looking at his picture. I think a potential relapse is more dependent on how aware you've become in that time to your triggers, to your LOs behavior and actions, and your own behavior and actions/reactions.
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

Loza50
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu May 17, 2018 2:22 pm
Ireland

Re: Is it over now?

Post by Loza50 » Fri May 18, 2018 8:17 am

Thank you both for your time to read my post and your replies, I made the mistake of texting my Lo yesterday as I noticed he was on instagram and just generally chatting to a few mural friends I thought I'd join the chat and say hi, I so wish I hadn't gone with this impulse as he completely blanked my message and continued his conversation with the others t was like a slap in the face and I now feel so foolish and could kick myself for putting myself in the position to feel anxious and second guessing myself all over again.!!!!

Loza50
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu May 17, 2018 2:22 pm
Ireland

Re: Is it over now?

Post by Loza50 » Tue May 29, 2018 10:08 pm

No I'm sorry to admit it really isn't over, I'm just papering over the cracks, kidding myslf, fooling no one but myself , I'm so sad and lonely right now, I need to be stronger emotionally physically and mentally & spiritually it's so hard

TheMoon
Posts: 224
Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:03 pm
Gender:
Great Britain

Re: Is it over now?

Post by TheMoon » Tue May 29, 2018 10:39 pm

Oh Loza, maybe it isn't completely over yet but your first post says you are going in the right direction. Contacting him on Instagram was probably a mistake, and it's left you hurting and set you back, but put it down to experience and learn from it. I doubt if many recovery processes from any sort of psychological or physical condition don't take a few steps backwards on the way.

:ymhug:

MrSpock
Posts: 551
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:39 pm
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Gender:
Argentina

Re: Is it over now?

Post by MrSpock » Tue May 29, 2018 10:41 pm

Loza,

Hang in there, we so know how you feel. :ymhug:

Keep in mind that limerence is actually the symptom of an underlying issue. And symptoms don't just go away while the underlying conditions persist.
That pull towards LO is NOT the underlying issue. Is something else that only you can dig out and fix.

So, if you haven't started digging or healing that out, today is the day! :-bd

Loza50
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu May 17, 2018 2:22 pm
Ireland

Re: Is it over now?

Post by Loza50 » Tue May 29, 2018 11:01 pm

Thank. You from the bottom of my heart for reaching out and taking the time to reply, thank you both for the advice I am going to disconnect from social media for the time being I'm due a few days off work so can have some time to get myself together and try and work on fixing the things that can be mended and stop wasting time on the rest of the useless dreams I can never have , again thanks so much I appreciate it and feel less alone xx loz

Shadow
Posts: 182
Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2015 6:12 am
United States of America

Re: Is it over now?

Post by Shadow » Wed May 30, 2018 1:59 am

Social media is a curse. Avoid it like the plague. Don’t beat yourself up though if you slip every now and then and take a peek. It sounds like you’re making a lot of progress. Keep up the good work!

DragonTamer
Posts: 79
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 5:55 pm

Re: Is it over now?

Post by DragonTamer » Sat Jun 02, 2018 12:03 am

Loza50 wrote:
Fri May 18, 2018 8:17 am
...I made the mistake of texting my Lo yesterday ... I so wish I hadn't gone with this impulse as he completely blanked my message ... I now feel so foolish and could kick myself for putting myself in the position to feel anxious and second guessing myself all over again.!!!!
Yep, been there, done that, and did it again over and over. My LO basically ghosted me about a month ago after about 2 years of a quasi-friendship/hardcore crush on each other, but before that, I would sometimes get a response from him, sometimes not, and I would feel stupid every time I didn't hear back. Then I'd wait until I felt confident that contacting him wouldn't affect me, but if he didn't respond, I'd spiral all over again, so I just decided to go NC or this will never end. Honestly, I'm of the mind that the best thing my LO did for me was to be distant and unavailable, because if he was more responsive and attentive, I'd have never stopped being limerent. I simply can't be limerent for someone who doesn't reciprocate. It makes me feel too crappy about myself. I'm sure I could contact my LO if I wanted to (I doubt this was an official ghosting), but honestly, he's not worth the misery I cause myself by contacting him. It took a while to get it through my head, but I think it's going to stick this time. And there's fat chance that he'll contact me, so it's all good.

Anyway, hang in there. Breaking out of this vicious cycle just takes practice. You're head's aiming in the right direction, so don't give up. :D

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