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In limerence with my (avoidant) flatmate

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rosalbin18
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 22, 2019 10:09 pm
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Ireland

In limerence with my (avoidant) flatmate

Post by rosalbin18 » Wed May 22, 2019 10:19 pm

Hi everyone,

When my dad passed last year, I got close to one of my flatmates and I have been in limerence with him for a bit more than a year now and it is very hard as I am leaving with him.
It started as a little 'crush' and nothing never happened until my dad passed. When I came back in Ireland after the funerals, we started "hooking up" (but we've never been in a relationship). He is constantly in my head, i wakeup thinking about him and until I fall asleep all my attention is focused on him.
I have a very anxious attachment style and ... No surprise my LO is a total avoidant. He is my drug. I feel I am loosing my mind, I have no more contrôl. And even if I tried so hard and so many times to stop it, I just can't, I just fall off again and again ... And being flatmates doesn't help obviously as even if I try to avoid contact with him, he is still in sight and even more in my mind.
Anybody can relate ?
Wish you all the best guys

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NoDayDreaming
Posts: 1156
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: In limerence with my (avoidant) flatmate

Post by NoDayDreaming » Thu May 23, 2019 2:55 am

you're in a tough spot. not sure what to tell you besides moving. once, long time ago, i developed LE (at that time i thought it was a true love) toward a flatmate, but fortunately, we're together for only a month and time away and busy work/family life cured me from it.
I'm limerence free and I'm not afraid of it anymore. I learn something new about myself and life everyday. There is hope and so much more. NC works. Be free, be happy! In retrospect, LE was about the best thing that has happened in my life.

L-F
Posts: 2574
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 am
United States of America

Re: In limerence with my (avoidant) flatmate

Post by L-F » Mon Jun 24, 2019 10:48 pm

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. Death, change and loss can hit us in the most unique ways and at times surprise us.
Welcome to the forums. I hope you keep posting and reaching out for support.
If only we'd sit with the void too... then perhaps we won't need to fill it once we get over the fear of its existence. L-F

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