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[nsfw] Any advice?

Tell us your story. What has been your experience?
yygyhj
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

[nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:50 pm

I was in this student program in March 2018, there was this female manager of the program who was actively flirting with the students. The program was a long distance from my home country. Me noticing the behavior of the manager, I challenge her to drink alcohol with me. I made some extra effort to catch her from her home with a taxi and bring her to the party with the others. Later I learned she very much loves it when guy do special things for her (like carrying her from the taxi to the hotel after her shoes got wet). I successfully managed to separate her from the group and we went alone into a bar. She gave me kinda challenges which I had to solve. I am a shy guy, I didn't make any moves in the bar, only a bit in the car. She wants to send me home, but I make up some bullshit story about not finding my way back home (I paid for this like 60€ to use my Internet because of foreign country). And then she lets me into her apartment. We have sex, she didn't let me fuck her vagina, she only gives me her hand. Afterwards, remarkably she likes to watch me on the toilet. Also she makes me go into my hotel room. The next day, I don't quite remember how, but we end up in her room again. This time I satisfy her multiple times with my hand and she allows me to fuck her, but doesn't allow oral on her.
The next day our group is supposed to leave the city, we say goodbye and she does not tell me she is joining us to go to the next city.
...
We stay in contact. I feel she has narcissistic tendencies. She likes drama.
...
Let's jump to December/January 2018/2019. I want to meet her again. She makes me think she wants to too. But I can only get her to agree after an ultimatum. At first it seems like we have a hotel room together. Then she invites her friends. I say okay, if they speak English around me. In the end she sleeps with her friends in an AirBNB and talks her language all the time.
The day before we met, she made me totally crazy. Some made-up? bullshit about a work meeting, so she can't come. But she comes and doesn't even tell me.
We don't have any sex these days, but I have a great time with them. One of her friends is even flirting with me (wtf?) while she is cold to me. I tell her friend I only like her. Me and her walk around hand in hand etc. Last day we didn't even meet because I was too angry to have to chase her all the time.

She made me feel she doesn't give a fuck about me.

Whatever, I am probably too emotional to write all the important stuff her. I am finishing my exams now and should be learning and applying for jobs right now. I am thinking about finding a job at her location, but I would feel totally stupid to go there and she ignores me and I ruin my life.

Our chat is also so one-sided, I feel like she just uses me. She sends me only smileys after I send multiple texts/pictures.

I don't know what is the best to do. Should I just delete her everywhere? I am still addicted to her and I don't want to delete/lose her.

At first I thought she has some other guy or guys. She said she has two thousand friends on her social network. I guess she has multiple guys like me. There is always some weird old guy commenting her stuff. She never posted any pictures with me on that holiday, only with her friends. I got angry about that, she blocked me from seeing her social page.

Now she is telling me her parents don't want her to date a foreigner.

Afterwards she made me hope to see her again, because for business reasons she is nearby. But then she told me, she won't make it.

Any advice?
I may include further details. I hope I didn't give too many details.

daydreamer
Posts: 695
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by daydreamer » Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:45 pm

looks she is a narcissistic type who may have multiple "friends" like you. I know the type as i'm limerent to one.
my advice is to talk to her and disclose your fillings and pressure for a full response. most likely she will reject you and you'll know your answer.

daydreamer
Posts: 695
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by daydreamer » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:01 pm

yygyhj wrote:
Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:50 pm

I may include further details. I hope I didn't give too many details.
LOL, the parts about your sex life were quite detailed, i mean i enjoyed it reading, but the post would stand without it. what if she found your post?

yygyhj
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:19 pm

Thank you for your reply.
I tried pressuring her, but she either just ignores my messages or like I already said, she avoided it last time by saying her parents are very traditional. She ignores it if I tell her I like her. I only get some smileys back if I send her some pick-up line in her language.
Should I try to make an ultimatum? I think that is a very bad idea, in the end I might end up marrying a girl who gives zero fucks about me. Last time I did the ultimatum with the vacation it was already a bad idea in hindsight.

Now I told her I am going to delete the App with which I am communicating with her, and that she is a narcissist, doesn't care about me and is unhealthy for me. After I tried to video chat with her to get any answer.

daydreamer
Posts: 695
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by daydreamer » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:29 pm

stop communicating. if she cares about you, she will reach out. the only danger is she might want to play with you while not really interested in a commitment.

yygyhj
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Thu Jan 31, 2019 4:34 pm

Thank you for your advice. But what should I do as soon as she writes any text? Maybe she actually writes some longer text, maybe she says sorry. As soon as I reply everything is back to square 1.

daydreamer
Posts: 695
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 5:44 pm
Gender:
United States of America

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by daydreamer » Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:05 pm

i think you answered your question yourself. if she just plays with you and you agonize over it, it's not worth pursuing it.

NVTS
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by NVTS » Thu Jan 31, 2019 6:45 pm

@yy.......

I come from a very conservative culture and grew up in a different one which was more liberal. I was very surprised to find that European women found me attractive as until that point females treated me as though I had leprosy.

The biggest difference I found was the casual attitude towards sex. Women from my culture tend to be prude, teases. If you were to have premarital sex it was generally assumed that you would marry them. My longest LE 20+ years was for a gal whom I thought was different, she was; she just loved it when guys would go all gaga for her,NARCISSIST!

I found that reconciliation of these divergent attitudes towards sex took a while for me.

Not sure if that helps but I agree with Jack, she doesn’t DESERVE your energy or attention; take back your self esteem and let her fuck off!
M-47-married
LO- married 48,work colleagues

yygyhj
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 2:11 pm
Afghanistan

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by yygyhj » Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:51 pm

My problem isn't about sex, it is about love, finding someone who loves me and cares about me.

I guess it would be much cheaper for a rather shy guy like me to just buy sex instead of chasing girls. But why buy sex? You can just masturbate.

I am curious, what happened to your narcissist? Did she settled down with some guy who didn't mind her behavior?
In general I am interested about how the characteristics of lives of the type of people who are likely to be LO maybe differ from others.

Yes, I think she is just playing with me. She is in an excellent position for her type of person, she gets to know lots of new people every week in her job. Why should she care about me, if she can easily replace me?

I am thinking about getting a bit of revenge by posting some group pictures of us on social media and linking her on it. It would show the other guys that she met me. She acts like she doesn't want everybody to know she met me.

NVTS
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: [nsfw] Any advice?

Post by NVTS » Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:52 pm

The narcissist “S” from what I know got married to a rich, handsome dude. I believe shehas 2 kids. I now KNOW that it wasn’t meant to be between us and I’m glad because the woman that I married is awesome!

Yes we both have our issues(understatement), but we have similar back grounds, 21 years together, and 2 beautiful daughters.

Love is NOT what B/Hollywood depicts. There are several threads in this forum re: what real love is.
M-47-married
LO- married 48,work colleagues

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