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Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Tell us your story. What has been your experience?
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dixie
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Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Post by dixie » Fri Mar 30, 2018 2:10 am

I have so many things running through my head right now I apologise if this post seems scattered like my thoughts. I'll start with an introduction. I'm a 30 year old female who works in health services, happily married for 3 years and in that relationship for 7.5 years. No kids yet but recently discussed trying soon, so things have been pretty good. 6 months ago I was diagnosed with PMDD - premenstrual dysphoric disorder.. which seems to be under control now with cyclic SSRI (antidepressant) medication.

My current LO for the last 18 months is a guy at work. I've only just discovered the term limerance a day ago and I cried with relief .. just like my PMDD diagnosis because FINALLY it has a label and these bizarre and irrational emotions finally make sense!! I believe I've had many LO's since the age of 10. I've transitioned between relationships so quickly for so long that I haven't been single for longer than a few days since the age of 16. All have been romantic relationships as I truly hate the thought of one night stands / FWB.

As for my parents.. yep some deep seeded issues there too. Alcoholic Dad has a totally seperate family overseas he left behind before I was born, Mum was a love child from an affair and was raised by her grandparents. In fact I'm pretty sure she is afflicted by limerance herself.. but that's another issue for another time. Parents split when I was 15 which was bitter and long-drawn out due to dad's very difficult behaviour. Anyway long story short there - my mum's very much a narcissist. And I'm sure I'm very prone to developing limerance!

When I first met my current LO I wasn't even that much attracted to him. I was going through a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions with my PMDD but once that passed I couldn't shake him out of my head and couldn't understand why. A lot of awkward interactions, and due to the nature of shift work I wouldn't see him for weeks at a time which made my feelings subside.. temporarily. Then he added me on facebook and now it's worse than ever! And the more I read about limerance the more I relate it back to previous LO's. I want to get rid of these emotions that are ruining my mind and my professional relationship with my LO, and I want to have the ability to stop any further LO's from developing. I've accepted that it's going to take some time and work, but I'm not ready to reveal this issue to my SO or if I ever will be.

This morning I'm feeling a little lost.. what if my husband and our relationship started on limerance too? In squashing these thoughts about my LO would/should I be doing the same with my SO? If I'm still feeling this way in a few days time I'm going to seek help from a psychologist. Fingers crossed they have knowledge on the topic, if not I'll keep looking for someone that does!

Thanks for your time in reading my little rant. It's also helped me get my head around these crazy thoughts by putting it in writing. Ideas / thoughts / comments / suggestions are very welcome, I'm trying to stay open minded.

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NaturalezaMuerta
Posts: 206
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:41 am
Mexico

Re: Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Post by NaturalezaMuerta » Fri Mar 30, 2018 4:12 am

Welcome! You and I have some similarities in our stories. I have found the forum to be an incredible place to explore this craziness in a caring, supportive, psychological savvy place. I highly recommend you go to a psychologist if you can. Limerence is just the top of a deep iceberg. On a side note I realize that my relationship with my husband started as limerence as well. I think through time and work, the limerence matured into something else. I think limerence is how we deeply attach so it makes sense. :ymhug:
They are not responding to you and you are not responding to them. *-:)

dixie
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Australia

Re: Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Post by dixie » Fri Mar 30, 2018 5:24 am

Thank you so much for your support :) I've begun to accept these thoughts and concept of marriage beginning from limerance. What a deep and intense topic!

NVTS
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Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 pm
Fiji

Re: Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Post by NVTS » Fri Mar 30, 2018 4:04 pm

Hi Dixie and welcome!

Sounds like you may be a serial limerent like me, if so get as much help as you can ASAP. I have been limerent since grade school but only discovered the term last summer during my latest LE.

After this one eventually passes I really don’t want to go through this again. I only have a finite amount of time on this planet and would rather spend it in a productive way vs. Pining over some mirage.
M-46-married
LO- married 47,work colleagues

dogersfan_99
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United States of America

Re: Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Post by dogersfan_99 » Wed May 09, 2018 10:26 pm

Hi there! I also have PMDD and am limerant. Although my PMDD is mostly well controlled, my limerance started as my mood was on its way down. Since being flooded with "good" feelings seemed like a better option than dealing with sadness, I indulged in a crush that spiraled out of control. Now I have a huge mess to clean up. Sigh.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi! You're not alone, keep fighting the good fight.

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David
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Re: Hi, my name's Dixie and I'm a limerant.

Post by David » Thu May 10, 2018 7:37 am

Welcome dixie. Heres to hoping you find some comfort here.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

Male 58

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