Post-Disclosure

Tell us your story. What has been your experience?

Was it all in my head?

Poll ended at Mon Aug 07, 2017 10:15 pm

YES it was and he's letting you down easy
6
50%
NO He gave an unclear answer because he is unsure of his own feelings
6
50%
 
Total votes: 12

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Mon May 15, 2017 5:14 pm

What helped me is to take a weekend to breathe and think through all the negatives of the LO and WRITING IT ALL DOWN. Day 7 of NC is feeling a bit easier, I don't even have too much of a longing to see LO's chat status to see if he's active or not. Longing to see picture of LO is also diminishing.

Rebuilding my bond with SO though will take longer to accomplish.

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Wed May 17, 2017 3:55 pm

It has only been 8 days of NC? Geez at times it's been easier than I thought but at times i can't control my imagination. It has occurred to me maybe I am just missing a new romance in my life. I could pick up a romance novel and just simulate those feelings instead of seeking them in real life. I'll give that a try.

marko
Posts: 1027
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by marko » Wed May 17, 2017 5:02 pm

My mind read stimulate =))

Pudding
Posts: 500
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2016 5:45 am

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Pudding » Wed May 17, 2017 5:05 pm

marko wrote:
Wed May 17, 2017 5:02 pm
My mind read stimulate =))
Mine too :YMDAYDREAM:
F 37
LO is M 34, my son’s teacher

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Wed May 17, 2017 10:55 pm

Oooo I see i have some "naughty" readers. =] Now what book should I read to stimulate these romantic feelings? Anyone have an erotic novel to recommend? :D

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Thu May 18, 2017 3:45 pm

NC day 9 - realizing now that with my disclosure I can't bear to see LO again it would be too embarrassing. On the flip side, it's a lot of pain to realize I can't have this person in my life from now on.

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Fri May 19, 2017 5:34 pm

NC Day 10 - Slowly I am able to concentrate at work again and getting things done. Maybe I need to learn to be able to be happy without love in my life, more specifically romantic love, because family love is readily available to me. I'll also need to be more grateful for all the blessings I have and a SO that loves me more than this LO can.

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Mon May 22, 2017 5:50 pm

Day 14 of NC today, it DOES get easier. I'm starting to think maybe I don't have limerence and my case is milder. It also helps I'm on year 3 of this LE and in the later years the intensity dies down.

Over the weekend I saw "The Other Woman" with Natalie Portman and it really helped me envision what life would be like if I had gone through with any sort of affair with the LO. It helped kill my overactive imagination on "What could have been" equalizing all the bad that could have came out of it where I conveniently avoiding and only thought of all the good that could come of it.

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Wed May 24, 2017 4:55 pm

NC day 15 &16 - the intensity of my feelings have gone down dramatically. I'm very lucky that I never went physical with LO as the bonding hormones would have tied me down. I refocused the intense feelings into going to the gym instead. Try it. It may help you too.

Kiwi - Strawberry
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 8:39 pm

Re: Post-Disclosure

Post by Kiwi - Strawberry » Thu Jun 01, 2017 7:10 pm

I have been thinking of the LO a bit more today. I pat myself on the back that after a month of seeing this LO in person, I've been a mess and have grown from the experience to feeling more "removed" from the raw emotions of the LE.

I've devoted much of my energy back to building my relationship with the SO, coming up with my loosely put-together plan to:

-do a date night a week or at least once a month
-try to concentrate on the wife-husband relationship with a trip alone once a year to rebuild "new" feelings of a new relationship
-have more "physical" contact with the spouse which should release the necessary bonding chemicals needed for the feelings of love that we may be missing (thus seeking out these LEs)

I'm still hurt though that I never got a direct and deliberate answer, like "I don't feel the same way" or "I want to look to the future also because while I felt something too we are both unavailable and it will only lead to pain".

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