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"We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness."
Hunter S. Thompson
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As David says...a mountain to climb.
I perhaps denied myself the chance to ever fully achieve this when I cheated by having kids for exactly that purpose. Not a 'quick fix' by any means....but all wrapped up in the same rubix. And have thought as I'd got older I have achieved it...but when it comes to staring into the void, I see I'm just as scared of it as ever. And therefore, as the quote states...incapable of fully giving back. (I typed 'ever' initially then realised that's a self projection in itself).
Good luck with the Aloneness AKA learning to love. Yourself and others. There's a whole lot of good that can be reflected in that abyss...but god knows; I think you're brave for confronting it.
Perhaps we'll see a renamed Kenophobia in 2018, ha.
Just as a side note to the Hunter S Thompson quote, Peanut...I personally think self respect and self actualization go hand in hand. And if your self awareness teaches you that you are a herd (or pair) animal, there is nothing wrong with that at all. I don't believe that we do all die alone. The last breath may ultimately be our responsibility, but whether it is shared, supported, understood, SEEN....makes all the difference. It's whether you cling to your companion/s, suffocate them, cannot let them exist as identities independent of you. That's when there's an issue. Or when you actually would be better alone but society has conditioned you to think you shouldn't be, so you live in a limbo land never really knowing who you are or where you belong.
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Working on it in T.
LE started June 2016, PA started Dec 2016
LC began June 2017
Now reconciled with wonderful SO
For my story if interested:
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