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Finally - the last remnants of my LE have been shed (well not quite)

Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe life is never the same after limerence. Read how others have coped with limerence in the longer term. Please feel free to post your own accounts of journeying through limerence.
JohnDeux
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Re: Finally - the last remnants of my LE have been shed.

Post by JohnDeux » Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:53 pm

David wrote:
Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:22 am
And grieving decades of repressed and surpressed feelings doesn't occur in weeks or months, sadly it takes some years. I dont know why it takes so long.
I guess this is the easy part for me.....not easy to **do** but easy to understand. For an LE, I just don't feel the grieving to be over something lost via not "having" LO, but rather the grieving of a cumulative amount of feelings that you noted.....that accumulated over decades. These older feeling X scenario "sets" (subconscious fantasy carried within) inside of us are what often provide subconscious motivation within each day.....a hidden drive of (often) romantic quest. An LE erodes relatively quickly the foundation on which that was built, but the house will take some time to fall into the ocean....and even then, we will be scrambling to build a new structure to put into its place. All very disorienting....and very ego deflating.
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

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RedPencilMentality
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Re: Finally - the last remnants of my LE have been shed.

Post by RedPencilMentality » Thu Jun 22, 2017 12:24 am

David wrote:
Sat Jun 10, 2017 6:37 am
After 7.5 years LO has finally vacated the inner recesses of my mind.
Very pleased to hear this David. Well done. :ymapplause:

By the way I accidentally came across your You Tube videos the other day! You continue to inspire.
L.O.V.E. always wins.

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David
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Going deeper into my wounds

Post by David » Wed Dec 06, 2017 2:37 pm

More than 3 years have now passed since any contact with LO and almost 8 years since LE day.

Yesterday SO mention LO in passing after lunching with a mutual friend. Last night I had 2 vivid dreams with LO featuring in them. In the dream she came over and chatted to me and I felt a calmness come over me. It was a nice comforting dream.

More grief has come up over the past few weeks with a good friend I met through my men's work is dying and my father's girlfriend that he took up with before my mother died recently passed over.

Death was the elephant in the room growing up. It feels like im grieving for more than just my own losses. A well of grief that is bottomless.

After a fews months of NC with my father after his last abusive outburst, I emailed him my condolences and said he can call me anytime. A couple of my sisters that Ive been NC with for 2 years (at their request, i just follow orders =)) have communicated with SO.

The irony has not been lost on me that L started just after my mother was diagnosed with dementia and my FIL had just died.

I am struck by for how many of us, limerence was triggered by a significant loss. viewtopic.php?f=51&t=1304

Perhaps Tenov's book should have been called Loss and Limerence as opposed to Love and Limerence?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Spinnaker
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Re: Finally - the last remnants of my LE have been shed.

Post by Spinnaker » Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:45 pm

David, I agree. Loss and limerence seem to go hand in hand.

Addiction sucks! =))
"I'll become what I deserve".

Ben Howard

L-F
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Re: Going deeper into my wounds

Post by L-F » Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:04 am

David wrote:
Wed Dec 06, 2017 2:37 pm
Last night I had 2 vivid dreams with LO featuring in them. In the dream she came over and chatted to me and I felt a calmness come over me. It was a nice comforting dream.
This. I have found it odd that my dreams of LO (though rare), are comforting. Its the 'comforting' factor that I find odd. Almost motherly.
Just breathe...

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David
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Re: Going deeper into my wounds

Post by David » Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:56 am

L-F wrote:
Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:04 am
Almost motherly.
yes
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

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Radey
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Re: Finally - the last remnants of my LE have been shed (well not quite)

Post by Radey » Thu Dec 07, 2017 3:41 pm

David

To answer your question about loss. I think loss may have played a part in my situation.

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