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Finding my way back to good

Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe life is never the same after limerence. Read how others have coped with limerence in the longer term. Please feel free to post your own accounts of journeying through limerence.
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Spinnaker
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Finding my way back to good

Post by Spinnaker » Thu May 04, 2017 7:01 pm

A recap of my story:

I was infatuated with a client that I worked for/with on 2-4 month long projects a couple times a year for seven years.

That infatuation turned to limerence and after I disclosed, we had a non-sexual affair of sorts. A lot of talking about an affair and extreme attraction. He also treated me like s*** and I put up with 8 months of a roller coaster ride from hell because I was under the influence of limerence. When he would have second thoughts my insecurities went into overdrive and limerence became almost debilitating.

We had almost a year of no contact.

For close to 10 months we have been working together and finding a way to have a professional working relationship and friendship. So when we meet on project work, we tend to do lunch about half the time.

As I sit here in my car after today's meeting and lunch, it seems quite strange
to not feeling anything. For almost a decade this man has made me melt when I heard his voice...when I looked into his eyes.

But during that year of no contact, I grew to understand limerence. I was ready to face my fears and find a way to work with him and get over limerence. Working together again was nerve-racking and scary. But, with each meeting the feelings faded more and more. It helped to have negative memories of our arguing. I knew I didn't want him...the limerbeast wanted him. I recall an emptiness and feeling let down after our lunches. But, those feelings aren't with me today. Operation kill the limerbeast is over. Fingers crossed. :D

I am happy to say that today I all signs of limerence, infatuation are gone. And, although I find him attractive, there is no sexual attraction at all. It's very strange, actually. But overall a good thing and what I want.

Limerence is horrible and I pushed my feelings on a man who was faithful in a committed marriage with ☆ children. So his marriage was dull. Limerence makes a person so self-absorbed and needy it's pathetic.

Yes, I'm glad to be feeling this way today. It's better than dead inside. It's a far cry from limerence high, but is not complete misery. Tears of guilt and shame followed by relief are all that's left. I'm moving on....FINALLY moving on. Tears of relief! It's fu***** OVER.

Spinnaker :ymhug:
Last edited by Spinnaker on Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:27 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Spinnaker
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by Spinnaker » Thu May 04, 2017 8:37 pm

I should add that I know it might come back to haunt me. I THINK it's gone. I know that I never want a relationship with him nor limerence to return. :YMPRAY:

AMA210
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by AMA210 » Thu May 04, 2017 8:53 pm

WOW - thanks so much for sharing this. I wish I was where you are now. In time I hope to be. :ymhug:
53 years old, married for 27 years
LE was 22 months and LO works four blocks from my home

"Always moving forward"

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LisaTranscending
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by LisaTranscending » Thu May 04, 2017 9:39 pm

Spinnaker....I can hear that corner you turned like the opening of the 1812 Overture ( Tchaikovsky wrote the 1812 to commemorate Russia's defense of the Motherland from invasion!) okay...so you were invaded....but Napolean (like Hitler) invaded Russia only to be defeated in the end. Like Mother Russia.. you suffered terrible losses during the limerent campaign...but..... your limerence will never recover its tactical superiority after this brutal campaign. too much wisdom now. if you listen to this overture you will hear it grow and grow and grow in strength and resolve!

God love you...God love all of us....for what we overcome. a big Amen Sister. God Preserve!!!!!!



Triumphant may you reign!
Last edited by LisaTranscending on Sat May 06, 2017 2:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

Pudding
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by Pudding » Thu May 04, 2017 10:03 pm

So from beginning to end, if we are saying you've reached the end, it was, what, 10 years or so? :o

Wow. What an experience. I'm happy for you. And I hope to be where you are sooner than later, although I fear it may take just as long.

:ymhug:
F 38
LO is M 35, my son’s former teacher
LC beyond my control ~x(

JohnDeux
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by JohnDeux » Thu May 04, 2017 11:32 pm

A very inspiring post, Spinnaker! Congrats on reaching this stage and here's hoping it's robust....it gives further evidence that with time and some self-awareness, this debilitating condition can be overcome. It becomes almost unbelievable the state that we once were in when in the presence of our LOs...but this lends encouragement to those still struggling and commendations to you for gaining your life back! :ymapplause:
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...."~ The Wizard of Oz

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Spinnaker
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by Spinnaker » Fri May 05, 2017 4:03 am

Lisa,

Thank you soooo much for sharing in my joy.

I listened, and felt your sentiment and the spirit of the Overture! The music lifted me up to take the feeling of relief and celebrate this day. Now I am feeling joyful gladness!

Pudding-
Yes I met him 10 years ago! :shock:

John-
Thank you, for your encouraging words! I appreciate you taking the time to help those of us lost in this maze of confusion and helping us find our way out.
Last edited by Spinnaker on Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:22 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Spinnaker
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by Spinnaker » Fri May 05, 2017 4:07 am

Aquamarine
Thank you for your words. My heart goes out to you and all of us who battle the limerbeast. You will come out on top of this. We are here to support you on your journey.

yaztromo_568
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by yaztromo_568 » Fri May 05, 2017 4:27 am

Awesome! :-BD So happy for you! Gives hope to the rest of us! Limerence can be beat!

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David
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Re: Finding my way back to good

Post by David » Fri May 05, 2017 8:14 am

Always good to read success stories and thanks for posting Spinnaker - we all need that hope when we land in the arrivals area of limerence.net.

Perhaps tears of grief as well mixed in?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

For Professional Coaching / Therapy see http://loverelations.co.uk/limerence

Male 58

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