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My my LO!

Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe life is never the same after limerence. Read how others have coped with limerence in the longer term. Please feel free to post your own accounts of journeying through limerence.
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EXlfjb
Posts: 1685
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

My my LO!

Post by EXlfjb » Thu Dec 15, 2016 3:51 am

No longer limerent.
No more projections.
I'm please to say that LO is what LO should have always been, a human and not an 'object' of desire.
LO is not my friend.
We have very little in common.
I am not in LO's circle of friends nor LO in mine.

I have no need to chase, oogle, or stutter when in LO's presence. I have taken the power back and now understand that I was merely playing a victim to it.

There is nothing special about LO, no super powers, no xray vision. Nadda.

Just an ordinary person like me. Who deserves to be treated with respect just like everyone else.

Whew! \:d/

Heart_Open
Posts: 704
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: My my LO!

Post by Heart_Open » Fri Dec 16, 2016 1:10 pm

Awesome!!! :-BD :-BD :-BD :-BD

Sounds like I am probably there too but just need to remind myself that my thoughts about this person - they are actually detached from feelings and I need to just witness the thoughts as that, and let them pass. Not entertain them.
The real test would be if we ever crossed paths again I suppose.

EXlfjb
Posts: 1685
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: My my LO!

Post by EXlfjb » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:04 pm

Heart_Open wrote:Awesome!!! :-BD :-BD :-BD :-BD

Sounds like I am probably there too but just need to remind myself that my thoughts about this person - they are actually detached from feelings and I need to just witness the thoughts as that, and let them pass. Not entertain them.
The real test would be if we ever crossed paths again I suppose.
Oooo so on board with you there! I have no idea if I will go weak at the knees =))
Isn't it funny just how romanticised this all is? We'd all make really good Hollywood movies with our stories of unrequited love.

Glad you are able to observe those thoughts. Next is observing our feelings (imo), which are ultimately tied to something else.

So for me, I let myself 'feel' i.e. feel the panic attack. Where do I feel it? In my chest? In my legs? How painful is it on a scale of 1-10? Does it have a sense of warmth to it? What would it look like if I had to give it a name? Etc...

I let the feeling be while observing every thing about it. It is after all, a feeling, one that I know wont kill me. So instead of distracting myself, instead of shoving food into my mouth to mask the feeling in my stomach, I sit with it (okay I pace)... but I permit myself to feel uncomfortable instead of rushing in to rescue myself.

Then something weird happens. Over time the feeling loosens its grip on me. And then I find some clarity about the situation. A new awareness. My intuition kicks in and I understand where this uncomfortable feeling comes from. Often my fear of rejection. For everyone its different though.

So... should I bump into LO. I will have to let myself feel, no matter how uncomfortable.

Heart_Open
Posts: 704
Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: My my LO!

Post by Heart_Open » Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:28 am

Limerentfriend wrote:
Heart_Open wrote:Awesome!!! :-BD :-BD :-BD :-BD

Sounds like I am probably there too but just need to remind myself that my thoughts about this person - they are actually detached from feelings and I need to just witness the thoughts as that, and let them pass. Not entertain them.
The real test would be if we ever crossed paths again I suppose.
Oooo so on board with you there! I have no idea if I will go weak at the knees =))
Isn't it funny just how romanticised this all is? We'd all make really good Hollywood movies with our stories of unrequited love.

Glad you are able to observe those thoughts. Next is observing our feelings (imo), which are ultimately tied to something else.

So for me, I let myself 'feel' i.e. feel the panic attack. Where do I feel it? In my chest? In my legs? How painful is it on a scale of 1-10? Does it have a sense of warmth to it? What would it look like if I had to give it a name? Etc...

I let the feeling be while observing every thing about it. It is after all, a feeling, one that I know wont kill me. So instead of distracting myself, instead of shoving food into my mouth to mask the feeling in my stomach, I sit with it (okay I pace)... but I permit myself to feel uncomfortable instead of rushing in to rescue myself.

Then something weird happens. Over time the feeling loosens its grip on me. And then I find some clarity about the situation. A new awareness. My intuition kicks in and I understand where this uncomfortable feeling comes from. Often my fear of rejection. For everyone its different though.

So... should I bump into LO. I will have to let myself feel, no matter how uncomfortable.
Thank you. Although I know I should feel, no-one has actually told me the process. This is the missing part of the puzzle. All i was doing was thinking more about my feelings! Thanks. Have a fab weekend :)

EXlfjb
Posts: 1685
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: My my LO!

Post by EXlfjb » Sat Dec 17, 2016 9:07 pm

Heart_Open wrote:
Thank you. Although I know I should feel, no-one has actually told me the process. This is the missing part of the puzzle. All i was doing was thinking more about my feelings! Thanks. Have a fab weekend :)
Check out the thread Artwork :)
It worked for me.

You have a fabulous weekend too !

JupiterTaco
Posts: 3249
Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:12 pm
United States of America

Re: My my LO!

Post by JupiterTaco » Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:20 am

Heart-Open, glad to hear it's over for you!

LF, where do you think Hollywood movies come from? :razz: That's good you're doing that with your feelings. I'm trying to do that with fear. :)
"How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me, you're the part of me that I don't want to see"-Forget It-Breaking Benjamin

AMA210
Posts: 1900
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:17 pm
Location: Midwest
United States of America

Re: My my LO!

Post by AMA210 » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:32 pm

"let the feeling be while observing every thing about it. It is after all, a feeling, one that I know wont kill me. So instead of distracting myself, instead of shoving food into my mouth to mask the feeling in my stomach, I sit with it (okay I pace)... but I permit myself to feel uncomfortable instead of rushing in to rescue myself."

Yes, I am doing that as well. Accept the feeling, observe it, think about what it's about, write it down, instead of pushing it down and ignoring it or making it go away. I have learned this specifically from LE.
53 years old, married for 27 years
LE was 22 months and LO works four blocks from my home

"Always moving forward"

TheEndlessStruggle
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon May 22, 2017 6:13 pm

Re: My my LO!

Post by TheEndlessStruggle » Fri May 26, 2017 10:59 pm

No x-ray vision?! No superpowers! If yours doesn't, I can't wait for the day when I find out mine doesn't! I don't miss him when I remember him being normal and kind. It's the streak of cruelty in his personality I crave.

marko
Posts: 1297
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:20 pm
United States of America

Re: My my LO!

Post by marko » Sat May 27, 2017 12:17 am

You are so strong, your words give hope, thanks

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