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- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2016 11:07 pm
Finding that word, and this forum, explains my 39 years on this planet. I am so grateful for this awareness. It is truly the aha moment. Everything makes sense and I can see my life from a third party perspective from beginning to end. And I don't want to live like that anymore. I am impressed by my own intuition and coping mechanisms I developed over the years...how clever I am. Always dancing around the core issue...that I never seemingly noticed. Wow. I finally feel free. I finally feel like I can start living the life I am meant to live. What took so long??!?
I haven't felt this empowered and full of love in a very long time. I am brimming with overwhelming joy and happiness. I am starting to feel like me. Like the real authentic me I used to know.
Except for one problem. Now that I am happy again, I am engaging socially more with men, and I am excited to date again, which is something I consciously haven't done for 2 years because I wanted to figure my shit out. I said that I would know when I was ready to date again. And I am ready. I am very ready.
And just like that I meet a bunch of great men, and flirt and have fun. One in particular though I felt more connected to than the rest. Like a real genuine and authentic connection. He felt it too. Those words were exchanged. So now what??? Is this real??? I feel like I am becoming limerent towards him and I am trying to mentally stay anchored. Not get caught up in the fantasy. I think I like him. Or I think I could like him. And there it is....hope and uncertainty.
Can you ever win? How do you know what's real?
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