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One year after disclosure

Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe life is never the same after limerence. Read how others have coped with limerence in the longer term. Please feel free to post your own accounts of journeying through limerence.
Posts: 1685
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2016 10:12 am
United States of America

Re: One year after disclosure

Post by EXlfjb » Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:36 pm

Idiotic wrote:
Sat Sep 23, 2017 9:24 am

I know right. They have to know, or have some idea of what they did to us. Not that they did it per se, but you know set things in motion just by being themselves.
Do they? Have to know that is? Don't you think that's a little selfish? Especially since it's not LOs fault, nor is limerence about them. It's about projected mummy issues and projected daddy issues. A fantasy. I do believe telling LO how your feel is a good way to burst the fantasy bubble though. Just expect some LOs to run a mile.

Posts: 316
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:10 am
Great Britain

Re: One year after disclosure

Post by Radey » Sat Sep 23, 2017 9:34 pm

I agree that the obsessive part of the attraction may have to do with Mummy/ Daddy issues but there may be a genuine attraction to the LO as well. The obsession is our responsibility of course but sometimes the LO is involved. Sometimes a real love/ attraction could be hidden behind the obsession. Idiotic is single, fear of rejection could have been the barrier that triggered the obsession. The lady may not even know that he is thinking of her at all. Reciprocation or rejection could end the linerence.

Each person's circumstance is different and a lot depends on the level of interaction and what is disclosed. In my own case we were friends for a year (he is single) and I told him after I left that I was going to miss him the most because I liked him a lot and thought he was special. Afterwards I went NC. He does not know that I was thinking too much of him or anything like that. For me the linerence subsided dramatically after disclosure. It was not all about me. My exLO also played a part because he actually started the flirting and participated in the friendship. I dont blame him for the intensity of my feelings but he was an active player.

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