limerence.net

Just as expected. My 'bf" only made me a bit sad. LE just kicks in and I can be bigger and better than anyone, and she'll always like me. I remind, she will never be available, and then daydream her in my life somehow. Typing this helps me away from the stomach churning awfulness. Just can't er...

Great timing. The spectrum of this is alarming. My few non LE years have me forget to what degree this affects me. Right now I think this is as bad as it can be. As to my other post, even facing full on rejection, we can plow through with some hope of connection or the partial surrender "I hope...

So then when you hear the words "my boyfriend" it crashes into what you already knew. Even then it didn't matter as this person is and will never be yours. Limerence can pretend beyond those words a bit. Now the test, can you really coexist without this LE. I feel crushed and rejected, tho...

I'm absolutely drunk on this again. I become numb to reason and make preposterous plans. I've dropped a bunch a weight again, however at least I can sleep. I'm an addict and pain only enters when I know I have to let go. I tried engaging with the LO often as the more you know about them, the less ap...

There she is, we talked for quite a while--like normal adults. Could have kept a moving. Trying to detect acceptance is another never satisfied issue. I play with why her? Of all the types, why do we click? This is reality, why can't I just let that be. Why on the way home will I spawn a future, the...

Is it outright delusion that when I'm buzzing I look better in the mirror? Do I somehow see what I think the LO wants to see? My extreme projecting of outcomes and even who and what the LO's are disturbs me. I feel so bad that I put my wife on the LO pedestal. I was possessive and panicked over ever...

See if my post rings a bell. My 2017 was the first time I saw this as LE. I was so guilty ridden as all those thoughts felt like I was a cheater. The spiral down from all bad thoughts cause the upswing by scripting exclusive feel good about the LO. All the time to an insane level of thinking. Once u...

Then you feel ok. My OK is not good, it means I'm scripting as I daydream. I have to run my brain scripts and realize I've been daydreaming this person back into my life, of course that doesn't stop--too late full on again. Script half the night, wake up, feel stupid get to work and then it really h...

As it quickly leaves these things come to mind. I feel like I'm more apart of their life than I am and now stress over how I dissapear. The LE notion of wanting them to be your friend becomes stupid. That idea is just a "keep it alive" thought. I hash over, how can't I make a friend--oh ya...

Just wanted to post to let this out. Crying eases the mind that wants to rehearse things for the lo so the pain goes down. Serial Limerant here and was free of last years lo since Septemberish. I thought I could head off another by stopping all my negative scripts and being careful how I interact wi...